k... hmm... I was rejected. It's hard on me, but i know my life still have to go on.
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Ok... I hope we can still be friends. I promised myself tt i would respect her decision. If she wanted it to be this way, I would nt forced her. If that's e way it would be, face it. Life is unfair, get use to it. Loving someone is not jus bout gettin wat u wan, and... i jus wan her to stay happy.
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Whenever i c her feel sad or cry. It hurt my heart so bad. Also, i felt so terrible when i wasn't able to help her solve her prob. Make me so desperate. Actually wanted to tok 2 her, but seeing tt she is in such a state... i think i better let her calm down.
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Hope she would not see this blog b4 i tok to her bout it tomorrow. Just hope that she would become my "qualified" friends... (sry... 4 those hu do nt understand). And also even if i start with her or not, I personally want to give her e best gift a person can ever get. Dun worry, no strings attached, i truly wish to c someone to recieve it. Also, must have e chance to tok to her in person.
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I'm a failure. I can't even be a good friend. I felt so terrible when friends r good to me, when they cared 4 me. I also notice that i can't even hold a normal conversation for 1 min, except e friends tt i label "good" or "qualified". Which is so little i can count with fingers(of... 1 hand)
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I'm just too complicated, and emotionally unstable.
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Dun be decieve by my words, dun be decieve by my actions. I'm so good in my acting that I've being acting all these years and no one notice. I may say I'm ok and that's everthing's kool! But that was only acting, truly it is. I kept and i blocked all this emotion to myself and wear a smile whenever i go. I jus need someone to help me, someone that will understand hw i feel. But...
No one understand me. And no one is there to help me ... ...