It's e max le... i tell u~! anymore... i'll go nuts. I also begin to think funny tots le. Really wan to tok to someone... but no one is there for me. Got bang by a car just now when commin home, mind drifting off to other places, though my legs nt broken, it's damn painful lor. And thanks e Lord, It nvr even bruised. I thanks jie for all that she have done for me and wat she wants me to go thru, I understand, i truly understand. I will overcome it, i will, all else all jie's effort will go to waste. But i reallie need to talk. I like went round e skool 15++ rounds le tryin to find someone to tok to. But everyone seem so buzy, or already have accompany le(all, except me) dun wan to bother them. I just need someone to listen to wat i have to say, wat i want to say.
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Gone are e times where jie n ethel would reallie sit with me, and ask wat reallie went wrong. I jus need to speak, i dun care wat e outcome is. I'm so sad... i'm so lonely again. I tot you all said you wanted to help, but in e end, it went one big round and here i am, back to square one.
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Now i know wat e consequences of speakin yr mind, tot u all wan to know, tot u all would treat it as if i never say it. But even though u all nvr say it, e actions betrayed all of u. I'm not dumb, in fact, i'm highly sensitive, i noe. All of u betrayed me... i never can be e same samuel again. I wanted to be... but i am nvr given e chance.
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I reallie dun mind if i go poly or jc, reallie i dun mind. But i get e feeling of inferiority, when compared to jie. And think of it, i dun have anything to impress jie. I felt so worthless... so useless... and the MAIN prob is, i dun get to see jie.
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The fact is that i'm still there for jie, whenever she need help, to support her. But need jie to understand... jie u r all closest person to me now... and even if we r nt together as in e.... but i will still love u as a jie. Now i only live for God, and jie.
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God give me e strength to live on, while jie support watever i do... i tot it would be like tis. How would i noe jie would pai say me like tt me like this~!? :