Just found out that maybe is that i shout too much i tear my throat and tt's y i cough out blood. Still need to lead in service today, sing till my throat damn painful lo.
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Ask if whether jie is free or nt, can bring me go buy clothes. Jie agreed and we go Orchard to buy. It all went veri smooth n fun till i receive a phone call. My fren gt pissed off by a mail i sent. Then i felt reallie sorry lo, also very low. Jie kept cheering me up, damn funny. When i ask jie if whether she's a free-thinker (she look n acted like one), how i know her reaction will be so big, she think tt i wanna "convert" her n stuff... n totally shut herself away. Haha...I not exactly want to "convert" her. Only tell her bout my xperienced and struggles. Like, why i wanted to be able to see ghost, and that i used to want to prove God does not exsit, etc.
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Even though i come frm a Christian family, i dun believe in e exsistence of God, or any spiriture being, that's y i so wanted to see ghost. I am a person who need to see evidences n scientific proof so i dun believe in God. Then i went round, tryin to find loopholes, to prove that this is all fake. The more i research into it, the more i believe in its exsistence. Believe it or nt, i went from comparing the history timeline, findin bout dinosaurs(to my surprise, e bible do tok bout dinosaurs), even to e extent of reading bout how e origin of the universe, via bigbang, is so ridiculous.
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now, i hand all my prob to HIM, share my feelings with HIM, obeyin and lovin HIM. But till nw i still have a little prob, which is that i am still unable hand my relation matter to HIM. I know God has his plan, and e rite person for me, but due to my personality, i'm nt able to stop myself from loving others, (as in e bgr thingie...). Reallie hope God will give me strength to "overcome" these "temptation" \/=~-~)/ haha