Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Hmmm.. suddenly feel like writing another poem and posting it somewhere else. Well... overall, today is a great day. I reallie like drawing. DrawingEssential is so my subject. Beside that, there's also Ideation 1 which some of my friends took. When they explain how the module is like. I can't wait for it to start. : )) One of my friend posted her assignment on Ideation 1 and the quality of the work is so good that I can't wait to attend it and if possible produce an even better one : )
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Well... 1st lesson, the lecturer show us a video by a National Geograhic photograher. I was so happy that i seem to have all the ability discuss in the video like passion, ability to turn problem into opportunity, etc. All except one. Which is to have technique. Even when I put myself in the place of most potential and in that moment that i need to showcase my talent, I can't, since i do nt have the proper technique and is nt ready. Like what he say. Having vision and passion without technique is blind. I totally agree with that. Hehe...
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After 3, I can't go back home since i have taekwondo at 6:30 : ( So i decided to continue with my 100 line words assignment in business canteen. On my way, I saw her. Smile, say hi and went past her. Damn those images flashing thru my mind. Suddenly, the hallway seem so long n my feet feel so heavy as more emotions "surge" into me. Maybe, that would be known as flashback.
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Be4 eating at Business Park. N i took my taekwondo belt to wash and to dry it. It was damn sick. This mornin, i open my cardboard and found my white belt literally turn into green belt. It is due to the fact tt i immediately put it back in with e shirt after washing it. I never dry it and so, the belt turn super mouldy. can u imagine? The sight is enough for u to puke. Then I wash it for like about half an hr... at least better. That is y my dad fetch me to school. I will be late if i went there myself. Ate a plate of chicken chop and started working on my line words...
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Even though today trainin is norm. Dunnoe was it emotional factor or that i just feeling nt well, i find it super tiring and dun feel so good. In training, i always do my best and push myself to e limit(so intrustor, dun push me further le, i am rewallie trying my best). In a the middle of a few set. I almost faint. My head became so heavy and I blank out for 1.5 s liddat. Then wake up again. Do e kipup to get my feet again. However, the feeling of fainting is so cool. I aleasy wanted to faint bt everytime almost hmm... when will i reallie faint? \/= ^__^)/

@ 12:45 AM

Monday, May 29, 2006

These few days is reallie free time for me. No assignment, no presentation to prepare. On top of that, i just bought 2 hamsters n i was having a lotta fun playing with them.
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I name e 2 hamsters Mana and Hammie. They are still quite frighten of the new surrounding and i tried to tame them by making them used to my pressence. They do bite at first, it's their natural instinct to attack intruder. I have to train them to get use to intrusion and that they(mainly my hand) mean no harm. So i have bear the pain of them biting my hand. Some part of my finger bleed but i know it's worth it. They are able to climb on my hand without any fear and i believe it is juz a matter of time when i fully gain their trust.
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well... bye for now, write tmr since there's no school on monday.

@ 12:51 AM

Thursday, May 25, 2006

ComDI is finally over. The worst module for a design student(izzit that bad? Beside, i had onli attended 2 module.) 3D ArFun which stand for 3D Art Fundamental is Really FuN. I can't figure out where the guys don't like it and thinks that it is not fun. Anyway... this few days I was reallie reallie reAlLie tired... i will just post some of the photo I've taken of my art works.
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Okiee... i will just briefly explain them. The first one is made of plaster and it is a dinosaur, so i call it the plaster-saur. Second pic is of my sis wearing a mask. When ppl asked me hw do i made tt mask i did for the final project. I replied to them that tis is hw. I gt my sis to lie down n i cover paper monche on her n wait for it to dry. I was surprised some even fell for it. Lol. Third is my final project. It will be exhibit on the design space tmr. So if u r reading tis blog on 25/05/2005. You can come down to Temasek Design School's Design Space to take a look at my master piece. The last pic... well... i can't leave u without another of my zi lian foto.... so here is it. Me wearing a tie, preparing to leave in my church service. (Btw... i took tis foto in e toliet. Lol)
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@ 11:14 PM

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

If you look beyond my scars
Far, far away
You might just see the happy boy
That's starting to fade away
If you look back to the past
And notice who I was
You'll notice now that who I am
Isn't really me
If you look beyond my smile
Beyond my fading face
If you look beyond the pain
You might just feel the same
If you look past my tears
And past the fallen blood
If you pass all of that
Then you will have fallen
If you fall where I have fell
Then you might notice to
This life I live is nothing
But a show that I put on for you
If you look past my fake smile
Past my fake outside
Then you will see what is wrong
Deep, deep inside
If you go down deep enough
You might get to my heart
If you see the crack in it
You'll know what fell apart
If you travel though my blood
And look up at my skin
You might just see the scares
That show up deep within
If you look beyond the scars
Beyond my fading arm
Maybe then and only then
Will u understand me.

@ 12:05 AM

Monday, May 22, 2006

I do not know how to start this blog. Whether I should talk about things 2 days ago, or yesterday or just today. You see... only 3 days and I have spent $250++. This is so unlike me. Even if it's a 2 dollar item, I also ponder for very long before buying them, sometime even put it back, thinking it is not worth it. Take for example a book I bought on saturday from the graphic book store. I went in, look around, pick a book, and hand it over at the counter. I did that in a record time of under 1 min~! And that book cost 30 over dollar~! Usually, even if i saw something I really like, I will walk around the store with the thing in my hand, thinking should i buy it for like 30 min be4 i decided to pay up at the counter.
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I was fooled. The feeling of nothingness is just temporary. At least it is not as bad as I think. I can still cope with it and there is no more headache.
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I was all alone the whole time. No friends, no family support(since i told them nth at all). I was crying and rotting on the inside. Just hoping someone would lend a hand. I have no friends I can find when I'm in need. Nobody is to be blame, I'm just not a good friend myself.

@ 8:40 PM

At night I sit alone and watch the shadows dance around.
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I hold my breath and listen yet silence is the only sound.
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I reach for some comfort yet feel no embrace.
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I am tired of the emptiness and loneliness of this place.
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I can feel no more hurt because I have learned to live with my pain.
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I often wonder how I survived and continue to stay sane.
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I have hurt so deeply and cried too many tears.
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I have been empty and broken for so many years.
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I am tired of pretending that I am fine and all is okay.
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I am tired of hiding behind this mask I wear every day.
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I have drifted so far and can no longer be saved.
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These feelings hold me captive and to them I am enslaved.

@ 1:17 AM

When I need to escape the world
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I turn to solitude for help
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For he and I, we talk for hours
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Of love, life and loneliness
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Some may say I'm crazy
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But solitude doesn't judge
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Instead he will sit and listen
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To all my thoughts and dreams
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Though solitude can only stay a while
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I make the best of our time
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When solitude does leave me
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Then it is time to meet reality

@ 1:00 AM

Saturday, May 20, 2006

This felt so strange. Now that I've told her. It's neither a yes nor a no. I thought i will just cry over it and try to get it over but i don't. I don't understand. In fact I felt nothing. Even things i once held truly is also gone. I just had no feeling for my passion, my dreams. Friends, family? No, absoutely nothing. It has being a while since I wore this sociable mask and had so much of fun. It has being removed? I dunnoe.
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No one is to be blame here, except me. I take fully responsible, but I just figure out what went wrong. Now what? I dun even know what to react. I don't feel like contacting my friends for a chat, take my daughters for movie. I just don't care(well... it's nt coz i'm angry with my life but rather, I have no more feeling for all this). I used to want to hang out with my friends, enjoy drawing, do lots of things but now all my motivation is gone. Why do I have to do this anyway? Why? Someone, pls answer me...
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Well... I don't need to keep my 2nd blog a secret anymore. You can find it in the link of my friends under $0.35(that's me) Ta ta... friends... if I do have any \/= ^__^)/

@ 1:42 AM

Friday, May 19, 2006

Bad english has to stop. From now on, I will try to write my blog in proper english. Hopefully, that will help me to improve my english. I've found that many of the module in Interactive Media Design course requires a strong command in english to do well. No doubt my english in these blogs is still not up to standard. I will work hard. Pls tag to show your support.
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My life is still in a mess. Unable to cope with the emotional torture, I've decided to tell her. No matter in what circumstances. Most propably I will tell her in msn. Rejection is most probably the case, but I've nothing to lose now. Due to this case, I've lost almost everything. My friends, my passion, my life. Everything is not going to revert back unless I just tell her, cope with whatever the result might be, and pick up from where I've stop.
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It has only being a week, but it seem forever. I've being through this. I knew exactly what it felt like and what it feel like after confessing.
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Anyway, I wll not go in details here. Bye for now. I will just continue to "hu si ruan xiang". And friends, don't worry, I won't die(yet).

@ 11:27 PM

Everything iz comming apart. My health, my passion, my goals, my ambition, my life. I seriously knew wat's goin on. N i dun noe when it will be o'er. I'm too tired t make things happen. I wait for things to happen. But nuthin happen. I was trapped.
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I'm toking lesser to frens nw. I'm losing my motivation n strength. i juz want to say...
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My head hurts, my mind ache. Surge of uncomfortable feeling o'erwhelmed me. Sometime, i was asking whether i need to see a doctor? But i dun. I noe tt it's juz one act away to being cure. There might be post-effect. I dun care. I juz wan to speak my mind out.
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Keeping things to yrself iz reallie nt good for health. seriously... so for ppl reading tis blog. U 've heard me, if u have prob, juz tell someone. Dun keep to yrself. For my case, i can't. Beside i have no one to tell... : (

@ 12:08 AM

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Never post blog yesterday... coz i'm sick, need go rest early.
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Was mad yesterday lar... i sick i still go taekwondo\/= ^-^)/ I reallie felt like i will collapse anytime, beside i have a fever. But i juz hang on coz i believe everything i done iz worth it. When home, juz turn n com, check mail, everyone seem bzi... no one to tok to...off com, go sleep. It has being a while alr. Again, i started to nt tok to anyone. I slowly lose e motivation n i felt tired. I reallie want to tok to someone, bt everyone went pass me. I reallie need a fren hu can understand me. Someone hu iz willing to encourage me. But...
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Earlier tt day. Our lecturer, Felix Chong shows us a video on Interpersonal Communication and the mistake ppl oftenly made. Then e moral of the story iz "first seek to understand, then be understood". That's what i presented e other day on my self-portraiture, when i say bout me being a good listener. I posses the skills tt video is teaching bout. Hehehe... kool man.
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For today, life still bout e same. Our ComDI lecture, Felix Chong release us early again. On average, he always release 2 hrs early. That's 1 hr of lesson only. Beside releasing us early, he return us back our writing portfolio. Be4 i gt back. I was like~! I became sick coz i gt too stress up by tis portfolio n kept worrying bout it. It was like something i really try my best n want to do well bt can nber do well. Got it back, look at e marks... phew... i passed. Only after checking around with my classmate tt i found tt it was an average marks. Majority of us get tis same marks.
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Well, last thing tt iz reallie nt seen everyday iz during ride home. I was waiting at a bus-stop. Then suddenly, there was a veri unpleasant smell. I look up ahead, it was a fat lady. She sat down. The smell is still unbearable. I turn my head, see other ppl also looking at her, n some covering their nose. I juz back a few steps. Then a man at e back tot iz me hu smelled, walk away frm me, unfortunately nearer to tt fat lady. Only then he realise it's nt me, and rather tt fat lady. So he turned to me n shw a sign which say sth like, sorrie, tot iz u... den, sth like tis lady reallie smelled. Lol... wat a funnie incident.
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Well.. juz end off here. I still need write in other place.

@ 8:28 PM

Monday, May 15, 2006

Today, i was able to enjoy myself, doing what i like e whole day because i had finish my writing portfolio assignment yesterday nite. When i woke up, i started doin some workout, practice my violin and spent e rest of the day reading till now. I think i've read 1/3 of e book and there's only a few more chapters to go.
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When i viewed some of my frens essay. i was shocked. Comapring theirs with mine. Mine is like kid's work whereas they uses chim chim word, n beautiful phrases. I'm so goin to do badly for this ComDI module. : ((
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I reallie wanted it to be good. I reallie tried my best n the result is still crap(shit).
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I'm reallie giving myself alot of stress. I aimed to do well... veri well, bt if tis continue, i would nt be able to achieve my goals... What am i suppose to do? This module is soo.. totally nt my strength. N my standard for this assignment will most probably get me a C or lower. This grade is soo.. gonna pull down my grade by alot. N i'm also nt sure if whether i would do well for e other module.
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toking bout other module, 3D ArFun is like so totally weird. My works is seemingly e best, except for e Maris Stella thingie, for the past few assignment(i think), and e teacher iz like kept giving me lotta comments whereas praise others work. Come to think of it. Maybe she thinks tt i gt alotta potential(hehe... self-praise) and dun wan me to juz be satified with my work. Well.. it's true, i haven reallie used my 100% in these assignment. But i also dun wan to spolit market mah... if do too good, make my frens one... Nvm,... i noe... i still got a lot to improve on. Well... those r juz my assumption, maybe it's juz tt i nber notice.
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Bye...

@ 10:25 PM

Saturday, May 13, 2006

OMGosh... still haven done my homework yet~!
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Being out almost e whole day. I went out in e afternoon to grab a bite at McDonald. I thought that there will still be e seaweed shaker, but no... a little dissapointed though. The offer ended again. Couldn't they put it in e menu permantly...? Beside hw much will it cost? They only need to preapre e paper bag n the powder. Those r non-perishable goods. Even if no one buys them, it's nt like they will lose alot of money.
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Aniwae... where was i? Yah~! Today i was goin to catch a movie with Esther. Yea... MI3. I actually thought of inviting li jia n especially wee teng, it was her who propose e idea in e first place. But they were all buzi wif their work. Remember? We DeSiGnErS r bz ppl. Do u noe by goin movie, hw much potential money we would lose... Lol... jking lar.
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The movie is good, two thumbs up. Just like wat my lecturer thinks. He rate this movie 4 out of 5 stars. After e shw... we were like walking around aimlessly. This shopping mall iz simply ToO small. N tt i was used to being led around. As in my daughters n sis who go out with me always do e shopping. I juz watch n sometime offer to pay. That time, 2 of us were like... going up n down the mall. Revisiting e shops. Also when to have a hair-cut. Since i do nt have keys, i had to wait till my sis is back frm her lesson.
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then met esther's fren, Claudyne(write tis down, or else i will forget), den walk walk walk around again. Go Toa Payoh walk walk walk again, be4 me finally goin back home where else Esther goin her fren house to watch movie. Yep... that's about all.
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If ya noe wat i meant, i still have other things to write, beside my hw, so catcha all later, pls tag too.

@ 9:36 PM

Hehehe... tot i will blog yesterday since it was a holiday, bt... haiz... was out e whole day. And yesterday i was like so tired alr.
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well... anw, sorrie to keep e readers waiting. Designer is buzi ppl ya know n i gt a tight schedule of appointments. Buzi person me.~! hehehe... if u wan to find me n stuff, u would have to book a week in advance with my secretary. hehehe...
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My day is packed wif things to do. My to-do list of e day: assignments, presentations, blogs, lesson, movie, portrait, reflection, QT, nt forgetting brunch, dinner, sleep, play, shit, excrete... n stuff.
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Pehape i'm reallie too bz to think of good stuffs to write, maybe u shld book a time wif my secretary if u wan to know more bout me... hehehe...
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ermm... enough crap alr lar. Just leave u guys with smt to think about. I look happi all the time, do u think i'm reallie happi~?

@ 10:17 AM

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Warning~! Post in TIS blog might nt be entirely true. Pls trust e source at yr own risk.
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Damn happi today. Exercise till damn suan. Taekwando make us do like mad. First 4 round around the track, 10 set of shutter run, 2 set of 20 sit-up n 20 push-up, a veri intense warm up n leg stretching, about 25 sets kicks back and forth e court, which made it about 50 court length of high kick n fron kicks. The instructor before releasing us, told tt tis is only e norm n will be raising the intensity e nxt lesson.
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Tmr Vesak Day, will stay up late since i can sleep late.
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Wow... tired sia... gonna sleep leh.. bye blog longer tmr

@ 10:53 PM

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I feel so terrible. I cannot take that e mental stress anymore. Will any1 care to help? Anyway, i m nt postin wat i truly felt. I can't. No one understand me.
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AARRRGGG~!!
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I'm nt able to cope with e mental torture anymore... but for worried readers, i won't breakdown. Samuel is always that kool, friendly and crazy friend you all r looking for. In fact, all we designer are crazy ppl. Am i rite~!!?? Design will win e war Design will win the war...

@ 9:52 PM

It's rather late now. It's 4:50am, 10th of may. I am suppose to write blog for things happening in 9th May be4 i forget. Actually still have lotta thing to do. Like my expository essay. Just done my spark online library skills workshop. Got the full mark for the final test assignment at the 2nd try. Yea~! Anw, I slept from 2 to 4, juz for 2 hrs. Mind u, i'm sleeping on the floor, felt asleep while i was resting. Nw still yeaning to go to my comfy, soft bed. But since i know i might nt have time to finish the assignment, i forced myself juz to get the minimum amt of sleep such that i won't feel so drowsy.
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Anw, let's tok bout TOdAe... Usual day for me... went to school. Got ridiculous hw like expository essay, for a design course?! I was like, "wanna eat"? Be4 tt nite, promised my fren i will go for taekwando trial. Well... yah. After school, i was to about to pack my stuff n leave e vsc room when i saw a msg, it was her, esther i meant. Asking me wan to take bus together. Then i called her, asking me to wait at the design canteen while i rush there. It was quite kool. For e first time, i actually did all e Le Parkour stunts like jumping o'er obstacles, cool jump down e stairs, when i was in fact in a rush. Maybe those things came naturally nw since i read so much and see so much bout it. My mind was thinking, sld i pang say my frens n accompany her. Well i justified myself by saying, well... beside, i seldom get to see her anw. But neither is my frens. Beside i wan to learn Taekwando. I've join Taekwando as a cca during e first 3 mth in jc. I was like didn't know wat to say. I couldn't possibly tell her to stay as i knew it will be till veri late. I was like soo.. hesistant and in e end ask her to go back herself. I felt soo... bad. :(
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My frens were all teasing me saying whether she is my GF n i was like eerrmmm.. not lar~! But tt wasn't a satifactory answer for them n throughout e whole trial, they tease me o'er n o'er again. OMGosh... even when i was sitting there trying to come up wif ideas for my essay, they say i was thinking of her.
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Anw leave tt embrassing part aside. What i want to say iz tt e taekwando trial is damn fun. Fun, like all e running(lol), we ran 4 rounds around e track. We learn some basic kicks n punches. And being reallie obessed with kickboxing last time. Naturally, those kick come more fluent n i dare to say, aside those hu alr gotten blackbelt, among the white belts, i was learning e fastest. Basic moves of moving around, kicks and punches, it was all e same frm kickboxing. During one of those kicking exercise, i was like doing all the rapid kicks and even a blow frm the top. I almost succesful excute tt move bt my fren took away the target, leaving me kicking into the air and falling on my butt. Everyone was watching when i hit e ground. To save some face and make my fall somewhat intentional, i did the kipup(those done in martial art movie whereby, u kick yrself up, back onto standing position), which won me some applause. Hehehe...
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Heard frm e intructor that it is possible to obtain a blackbelt if u continue to train throughout the 3 yrs... and my eye shine. It will sure be kool to have a blackbelt for Taekwando. There is also the possibility of a double promtion during each test which can allow u to take 1/2 e time needed to obtain a blackbelt. 1 1/2 yrs. Okie... i muz set a goal, and to ensure i would do it. I program in my head it is a MuSt. I told my frens about obtainin it, told my family, esther(heeheehee) n my cousin during msn. It's hard to back out nw... bt so it will be a motivation to keep pushing myself, till i get the honour of obtainin blackbelt within 1 1/2 yrs...

@ 4:52 AM

Monday, May 08, 2006

Why am i finding schooling in TPDS fun while others find it dread and boring? How can i influence them? Come to think of it, if more ppl were enjoying it and having e same passion I have for design, school life would be much more fun. It often make me feel sad not having a companion around, who is able to enjoy these with me. Everyone wishing school days would end soon and that they are looking forward to every friday. It's nt that there is no such ppl in TPDS whop have e passion. Those that i noe... i reallie treasure them. And looking forward to seeing them in school.
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I think it started again. I tot i would... anw... juz let natural take it course. I'm too tired of this kinda thing. I'm reallie having phobia since after all those past experience. If u dun understand what tis is all bout. Stay nt understood. Coz i dun wish write things that would cause myself alotta troubles. I've being thru enough of tis... and i will nt allow this to affect my dream of becomming a designer. I will nt let my emotion get e better of me again.
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Even when today's a monday, I went to school. We were suppose to collect our new matrix card(or hwever it is spelled). I never had the chance to go to school in the morning by myself. Hehe... coz i spolit child. Then i feel rather sianz to go there alone so i contacted my coursemate Esther. It is also rather stupid nt going with someone when we both know that the destination is e same. She is also someone who have the passion for what she is doing. Since after e ride home last friday, i noticed that we are actually staying veri near each other. About 10 min walk away.
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As usual, i was there early. 30 min earlier than the supposedly meeting time, or was it 40? Well, it's e standard. I e kinda person hu dun like ppl waiting. So it's better early than late. We took mrt to ... somewhere(ai-yo.. juz 2 stops away, i forget where alr) then bus 23. It is a completely new route to me. And i find it rather fast. I didn't notice hw much time it took, and was it faster than my current route, as we were indulged in our conversation. Lol...
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Reached there, met wee teng and we sat in Design school canteen to watch her eat be4 goin to exchange our cards. Then, I wasn't reallie having e appetite to eat and on top of it, they r nt eating meal, i also bu hao yi shi chi mah. It reallie funnie then. After meeting wee teng, me n esther start using english again. Yah~! Also, Esther is e first person i spoke to in mandarin since tis yr. Ever since I left sec. sch. haven found some1 to tok to in mandarin. My mandarin is also deproving sia... : << Anw, where am i? oh yah... we were making fun of wee teng n telling her to speak in mandarin, bt she find it veri difficult. Lol. And kept having to used english word to explain or reinforce her idea. Lol. I then started speaking angmo accent. heehee... it's so fun~!
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Went library. Me n wee teng like nth to do. Just sat there n gave moral support to esther. haha. Also make her reallie stress. But in e end she came out with a veri cute cartoon character. Then, to past time, I suggest e "add-on" game. That was a game i haven played ages ago... heeheehee... remember the last time i played it, it was like when i was pri 3 to 4. Like to play with another guy call justin since we 2 r e most pro cartoonist in school then. reallie fun sia, we were making our character till so cute.
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Went home. I find it pointless tt since me n esther goin e same way, we go in diff route. esther finally decide to go by my route. Beside, having no one to talk to is reallie veri boring. That is y i am doing all e talking e whole journey... Sorrie lar esther, need u to listen to me. I last time introvert, so i kept alot of things inside me. "Hard get" gt some1 to listen then everything came up. Subjects ranges frm motivational character, like George Lucas, Sylvester Stallone to lucid dreams.
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Anw had a fun day today, n was able to write tis blog only coz i had a nap juz nw. hehehe... well... tata... goin see ani1 to chat to online again.

@ 8:07 PM

Sunday, May 07, 2006

I have not being able to blog properly due to the amount of hw. But, lol... i kinda enjoy them. Even ComDI. Dun think i'm mad. coz i reallie can persuade my dreams... after so much years of studying studying. Be it Englisg, Math, Sciences...and tonnes other, i finally get to do wat i truly like. Below is a narrative essay our ComDI want us to write. Blog later. But u guys out there might as well read this first. I will come up with proper blog when i have time. AND mind U... this is a narrative. so some stuff i mention in there is fictional, lol... eg.. i dun have a gal friend. I juz crap around.

-----------------------------------------

Turning on my hand phone’s Bluetooth, my vision went back to the computer screen. I looked at my watch. It read 2.00a.m. I realized that I must be quick; I still need my beauty sleep. Even though school starts late tomorrow, I’m going to meet up with my girlfriend and pass her a birthday gift before going to school. However, since I have a bad memory. I need to record down today’s happening in the blog before I go to bed. After trying to connect to the phone for a while, it’s finally through. A prompt window appears, “Are you sure you want to copy data here?” I click yes. “Transferring...”

I went out for a while, and came back with a soda. By then, a window appears which say, “Transfer completed”. I excitedly opened the photo’s folder. The scrolling bar is very short, which indicates that there are a lot of files inside. I scrolled down to the bottom. I have successfully backup my phones photos into my computer.

I have the habit of taking photo of everything and anything. I often take photo of myself, scenery and things that is precious to me. During the few days in Temasek Polytechnic, I have captured many memorable photos.

The first photo is picture of the door of multipurpose room 2. There is where I attended my first lesson of ComDI.

I remembered the time when I first entered the room. ComDI? What the heck is it? I don’t even know what I’m going to study. The lecturer wants me and a guy sitting next to me to collect money and buy the subject’s text. When I went into the bookstore, I finally realize that ComDI is actually Communicating Design Ideas.

The lecturer started the class and soon afterwards, wants us to form group, sit together and work on the assignment. I realized. This is what ComDI is all about. It is to be able to communicate your ideas to people.

I work myself to the limit. The usual quiet Samuel finally opened his mouth to speak, to share ideas, TO COMMUNCATE. I see it’s a very important skill we need to acquire. After the assignment, though we had not spent much time together. Our group had bonded very well together, and during that break, even sit together to eat. Before the first day of lesson ended, our homework of the day was to prepare a presentation on an art exhibit and present it the other day. This forced me, the quiet and introverts Samuel, to chat with them. To learn to work together as a team, we must first know each other well.

I clicked on the button, next, and a blurred image of a clay figurine appears. It blurred, probably because I move the camera phone when I took it. I deleted the picture and the one following is much clearer. It is a clay figurine of my self-portraiture. I remembered how much word I have put into it.

The self-portraiture was supposed to be something that would represent you. You can make, draw, paint and even get something that is already available and present it. It is like a show and tell I did during secondary school.

I pondered for very long. What would best represent me? This assignment makes me to look deeper into myself. How I really felt inside me. I reflected for some time and was shocked at how I think of myself; I never thought that I was such a person. Probably, since I never really reflected before. This exercise had allowed me to know how a person I was like, how I can make use of such knowledge and how I can improve myself to benefit in the learning journey ahead. I would try to be more extroverts and friendly. I aimed to make more friends. Not just within the school, but also friends from other schools. I believe connection is very important in later on in life. Also, that is what they teach in this subject, ComDI, to improve our presentation skill and communication skill. Communication is very essential in our learning in a polytechnic. It is even more important for us as designers to learn it. Not just because much of the marks is tabulated via presentation (we don’t have any exam, I hope), but also, it is important for our future. When we leave the polytechnic with a diploma, majority of us will start sending CVs and applying for jobs. Without a good communication skill, it will not look good on us.

I clicked next. An image appears. It is a picture of me, scratching my head while holding onto a piece of blank paper. Ha-ha... I remember what I was doing. Then, I was taking a photo while thinking, “Why do I need to write essay in Design course?” Honestly, I thought that by entering polytechnic especially a design course, I would not be touching so much on English. I was wrong.

The topic I was doing is a descriptive essay on the self-portraiture I made. Come to think of it, it’s all English. I failed my English; I am not good in it. I don’t know that I can even write out that essay. Descriptive essay is also more challenging. I never done descriptive essay before in my 10 years of education. It’s true! I always chose narrative. The demand of descriptive essay is to have powerful English, to be able to use nice words to describe things. Due to my limited vocabulary, I dare not touch that kind of essay.

Now, the assignment of that day was to write one of those kinds of essay. I tried my best to write one. I also realize it is hard to stay formal and that; I will often include feelings into that essay, which is not the style of a descriptive essay. I have found myself in difficulty and is struggling to finish it. What I have noticed that what I am writing is also what we, as designers need to be able write. According to what I penned down in my notes, designers need to have writing skills to be able to come up with concept, bring concept across to clients and to persuade the clients.

After these thoughts, I finally realized I need to take one step further; away from my comfort zone. Go forward and not let this barrier stop me. I will work hard, I will improve my English. It will eventually help me in becoming a good student, a good writer, a good designer.

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@ 9:27 PM

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Design is costing me a bomb~! Buying all those equipments n materials to make e asignment can sth cost 1-2 days of food money. Beside, there's hw basically everyday. E.g. e self portraiture, i spent 4 dollar on clay, 3 dollar on e ball used to make e head, 6 + dollar on paints...etc.
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Reallie need to sleep nw... happen alotta thing todae... bt too tired to record them down. Maybe tmr yah? If i remember.

@ 12:38 AM

Friday, May 05, 2006

Today is 4 of may. Yesterday i was up veri long struggling to complete mr clay boy for my ComDI self-portraiture assignment which we present today. Nw... i'm rushing thru a discriptive essay bout it. Damn, i hate english.. bt well, no more time to complain.
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Here's mr clay boi.

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i will just cut n paste e essay i have written bout this figurine... It's rather borin... hope uguys won't mind...
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It is a figurine made of air-dry clay which stands about 17 cm tall. Basically, it is a figurine of a boy with a huge and detachable head which is at least twice the size of a tennis ball. The figurine, clay boy is carrying a haversack that contains a collection of stationery required for drawing and painting. The facial details are elaborated and exaggerated. There are two huge ears sticking onto two sides of e head. A nose that is even bigger than a real person’s. It is wearing a shade, which make it look as cool as Agent Smith from the Matrix Trilogy. There a few very distinct crack across the face which suggests that the figurine is trying to bring out a very rugged and experienced personality. The hair is represented by another thicker layer of clay covering the head. There is also four piece of clay connecting to the clay which represents hair and is suggesting that the clay boy is combing a side parting, just like how the creator look like. The mouth is absent from clay boy which comes to show he is more profound than he looks. When the head is placed onto of the body, it is kind of shaky because there is something else interesting inside it. Looking from the top when the big head is removed, there is a fully featured head in the hollow body.

Due to the amount of time since it is made, clay boy has not completely dried yet. Colour is brighter when it is dried. So, only a small portion of its body is white while the rest look greenish in colour. Clay boy is smooth, especially the head of it. However, with a closer observation, there is also fingerprints and nail-pressed depression on the entire surface of the figurine. Clay boy is cold when you touched it even when the room it is in, is not cold. It is as if you are touching metal.

When I took the courage and taste the figurine with my tongue. Only one thing I can say. It tastes bitter. It has a horrible, bitter taste and even milky taste, if you allow it to dissolve by your saliva before tasting it.

The figurine stinks with the smell you would normally get when you work with clay. The body of the figurine is seemingly hollow with a clear sound when you knock it. The head however, is solid as it has a solid sound when u hit it. It is also very fragile and cracked easily even if a small impact. The connectivity between small pieces of clay to one another is also very weak. You can just twist the hand of the figurine and it will fall off.

However, with the kind of structure the figurine is built. Even if it hit the ground, at most a few of the smaller features drop off or cracks may appear but it can be connected back easily with water. This goes to show that this piece of figurine is very practical(being a item for showcase), durable(will not break beyond repair) and interesting, with deep meaning in it.

That's all folks... Bye

@ 1:14 AM

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

... Today i woke out at e wrong side of e bed. Everything was way off e usual course. if u wan to know wat happen, read on.
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i woke up late. At 10:30. Usually tt was e time i started setting off to TP, but tt wasn't e case, i normally reach there early n have 30 min of time to spare. Due to e project our class need to do for ComDI(Communicating Design Ideas), we planned to meet up at e library at 11. I prepare everything tt is needed, wear my Samuel n Kelvin clothes n pant, took every junks i can find(for e lesson on 3D ArFun) n set off. It was only just be4 i reach e bus stop tt i remembered i haven't passed up e form to e lisense thingie. Went home, took it, headed to bus stop only to see one bus juz leave e stop. I missed e bus~! I knew it would take forever for e nxt bus to arrive, n i was rite...
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When e bus finally came, i tot it is e end of e bad things tt happen to me... n i was sooo.. wrong. I alighted 58 n boarded 8 at a stop. Den, i was like so tied nt focus. When i saw TP, i panic n pressed e bell. I alighted only to find there's 1 more stop to go. Tis stop is at e west gate of TP. Knowing tt i was so late, n i knew tt my grp can do it without me coz i had e transparency of e presentation, i picked up my pace. I reach TP, first thing tt went into my mind is sketchbook. I need a sketchbook for 3D ArFun. I was such a perfectionist. I need everything to be done, so i want to have everything complete. Off i go to e bookstore. I went in look around for sketchbook. Cannot find any... was a little confused, disorientated at tt time... wasn't sure wat i want to do. I went out of e bookstore. Esther smsed. I felt reallie bad, i wasn't be able to rushed there. I still gt things to do? I went up 2 2nd storey. Saw my frens, chat for a while, gt pulled by some Intel guys hu wanted us to sign up for Intel newsletter. went into e design office. wanted to pass my form up, but i dunno wat went into me. I was quite daze then. I juz went out n headed towards e library. went in, look around, came out. WHAt e h*ll was i thinkin? I rushed to e Design Block coz i knew i will be late soon. Saw my grp members on e way. Went in. Li Jia told me Esther was looking for me. Feel more bad. Wasn't sure wat i was doin. Took out e file n lisense thingie i went out of e class. Hope can see Esther n so pass her e drawing. Angela told me to tell 3D ArFun teacher tt she can't make it. Am sorry i wasn't reallie listenin to wat she say den. So sorry, tt's y after tt i sms n ask her again. I went straight dwn to e Design office again. Sign it. n throw it into e box, go up to classroom. Then, my mind was alr whirling n i sat down. Mind blank. Saw my grp had alr took out e transparency n written dwn wat they wanted to write. They all look at me n grind. they wanted me to present since i was late. I went up there, crap around n can't reallie understand wat e teacher was asking coz i cannot think. Daniel help up n took my place.
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well... Finally... thing turn out better durijn 3D ArFun. It was soo... fun. Haiz... Angela nvr get to enjoy all tis. We were moulding clay. First, we were told to blindfold ourself n mould. I moulded an ELEPHANT~! yea~!
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Then we took off our blindfold n look at hw horrid we have done. Then we were allow to see n mould. This is wat i moulded. This is e result of playin too much com games. I mould an Alien n a marine. It was like in e game Alien v.s. Predator.
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Kool huh... after tt we proceed on to e 2nd assignment... which was to make sth out of recycled material. At first, i wasn't sure wat to do but when e ideas came, i kept on doin n doin... hand gt cut... kept doin. i stepped on e material, squeeze it... twist them, cut them, secure them.. bt i wasn't done yet... this is e unfinished work, continue tml.
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well... this is bout it. My fun yet tiring day. Signin off. \/= ^-^)/

@ 8:07 PM

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Just came back. E time nw 9:30p.m. Wow... so tired, but i need to record tis day down. Coz today is my first lesson in TP. Before tt, backtrack to yesterday. e caricature i promised to give my fren, i do till veri e late... Maybe coz be4 tt i keep slacking around... till 2 den i start work. I actually drew 2 times... colour 2 times... be4 i think its presentable. Actually... e caricature dun look like her sia... veri sad, my skill fell so drastically.
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But today, my lesson frm 12-6 while hers frm 9-3... so veri hard to pass it to her...
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Anw, start blog. Okie, be4 goin out, someone IM me on msn. But i dunno hu it was coz have nt check with her be4. The dp shw Li Jia face bt i wasn't convince. E email add look so boyish. So i took out my list to check. It is indeed her. N found out tt we r of e same slot, even more surprising... being in e same class.
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Den i off to TP. I smsed her a few times... but she nvr reply. It was till she came into e class of ComDI late n asked her tt i noe i smsed e wrong no. I mistaken 1 as 7. ComDI is a compulsory subject of TP Design Student. In class, i'm e first to break e ice again. I tok to Daniel n begin sticking to each other like buddy. Lol. Anw, it's weird to see ani1 walkin alone in TP anw. If i dun get a fren to accompany, I will be like e odd one out.
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ComDI was kool. Mr Felix is a veri kool n hip teacher, at least frm my observation on e first day. After a short lecture... Mr Felix, assign us a grp work. Which is to make a dream house. Our first assignment in TP.
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Be4 continuing... earlier tt afternoon, be4 goin into e class... Saw a gal in ground floor. She seem familiar, bt me had no idea hu she was. She knows me n waved. N we tok all e way up there... even though we same time slot n subj... we nt same class... haiz, sad. But after ComDI is 3D ArFun. I was surprised tt she came in, when most of e ppl in 3D ArFun is also frm my ComDI class.
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Be4 goin into e room, we saw wat other ppl were doin in e 3D ArFun classroom... wow..~! look like fun... they were playin wif clay n making into diff creatures... Tot we also doin it bt were dissapointed when we went in n being told we r nt doin tt today. E lesson started well... wif a young lady teacher, whom i even forget wat;s her name. Prob is... she is too soft... bt nevertheless... i can see tt she's a friendly n approachable teacher. Bt she only get to tok like onli 30 min... den e rest of e time, we get a Workshop briefing. Tell u... Tis is one of e most boring lesson i ever being to. Tok bout machinery... n how each of them work. As if IMD student will need to go to e workshop.
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6. End of lesson. When all students get to go home... we need to complete an assigment of ComDI. It is to go to any outside exhibit, look at it... look at it closer.... n give a presentation bout it e other day bout "E other way of seeing" Waht e heck~!? Anw, though i say i like e teacher n e dream house assignment... tt subj sux... coz u also need to be good in yr EL too...
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We was like alr veri tired bt still we go to espanade. See see... den we go. Also our dinner there is pathetic... Each of us bought chips n we eat n treat it as our dinner. Den reach home... 9 plus... sad.
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Once again. I come to e end of my blog. To ppl out there reading this. Dun look behind, Yah.. u~! Dun forget to tag it... :) To shw support to my humble blog. Bye. BB

@ 10:17 PM