Friday, February 16, 2007

~*~I had this ‘Friend’~*~
~*~I thought it will Last~*~
~*~Then I did something really dumb~*~
~*~That I wish I’d never done~*~
~*~She got REALLY mad~*~
~*~And of course I got so sad~*~
~*~For now until forever~*~
~*~Even though you hate me~*~
~*~I just want you to see~*~
~*~I AM VERY SORRY~*~
~*~I hope you can forgive me~*~

@ 11:25 PM

Here's a special new year post. Gong Xi Fai Chai to everyone reading this edition.
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It seem that I missed my birthday edition post, bt wat e heck... New year is nearing, just a gentle reminder to all to repay whatever money or things u owe ppl. Dun owe till nxt yr huh...
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I was walking thru the mrt station when I saw this friend of mine, Joshua(note: nt tp 1). It seem like he forgotten me bt nevertheless, seeing him around made me think of the JC times...
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It was just last year... around this time when I'm still attending JC, 3 mth "trial". Joshua is academically excellent and he was also the enthu one in learning in the class... But what happen nxt after JC? He will go to a University. What happen next? He will get a degree. Then what? He will find a finacially secured job. What next? Work, work and more work. Higher and higher pay. Pay upfront for more things. Get more debts... Need to continue working hard to pay off debt.
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Man this life suckz... luckily i was showed the other path
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...
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Sometime I wondered what is true Love? Is it very rational? oR Is it irrational? For the couple of times I was in one, I was irrational and sometime allow my emotion to take over. I was making mistakes... I knew I shldn't have done and regret later. It seem to everything had settle down for a while... I rethink about my past action. I was really foolish and man, those wasn't really any true love.
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However, these days I had a new feeling towards someone else... and I kinda felt that since i like her, I shldn't interfere with her life and respect her. Since I'm nt able to give her Happiness, I rather have patient and work hard to let her have a good life in the future. Never had I sacrifice myself to give someone haapiness... in the past I was self fish, I'm self-centred. I want to be happy myself bt nvr did i care about their feelings...
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She appear in my dreams a couple of a time. I just looked deeply into her eyes, that is all i ever wanted... nothing more. And she never fail to make me smile...

@ 8:55 PM

Monday, February 05, 2007

Man... I am weird. Sometime I dun even know what am I doing. No one can understand me... like wise, I dun even understand myself. When someone were to say, I understand. What Bullshit!
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I love reading. I love learning. I love knowledge... however, have I know too much? Just like psychology and body language. I'm now so aware of these stuff that it became habit. I've a habit of applying what I learn. Shouldn't that be good? Maybe... But can you imagine being aware of even simple reflex action. I control each movement, each emotion, each expression to fit the situation. So as not to do something awkward. I analyse each situation and do only the right thing... and masked my emotion.
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Man, does that sound confusing? Yep, damn right. And I was confused too... up till a point I do not know what I am doing, what I am really feeling at that moment
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The 1 emotion that i cannot masked and make me do really stupid things is Love. Yea...
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Next, psychology is something that after I learned, it just came back naturally. As in the rules are there in my mind... I see the situation, and apply the rule. Practical scenario. Logical solution. Like the example I always quote, to make me do something, I put myself in a situation where I do it, or die...
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That end my post. Gotta sleep now. Leave a msg in the shoutbox.

@ 1:41 AM

Friday, February 16, 2007

Monday, February 05, 2007

WeLc0mE

Pr0fiLe

tAgGiEs

dArLiNkiEs

aRcHiVes

CrEdiTs

ExTrAs