I haven't being blogging nowadays since there isn't really a need to, and I feel that shouting out my rant dun make me feel better, it make me feel worst. It's best just not to think about it.
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But the stress now is pretty unbearable so I wish to share the load to those reading it.
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It all begins with PComD... I've prepared very well for the presentation. This is another one of those module I can excel without much effort. PComD's all about the final presentation. You do it well, you pass with flying colours, you screwed it... you get average grade.
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I prepared adequately for 2 slides that I have presented, all the lines, all the humour, all the expression, all the emotion I want the client to feel when listening to me when I sell it to them. Long story short, I screwed it up. There was a little miscommunication within the group and my slides is taken by someone else. I freaked out on the spot and I can't even speak fluently, my mind goes blank...
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This is one presentation that went really bad. The stress of not being able to maintain my standard and get Director's List build up. I calm myself slightly and told myself, there's still P2 interim presentation later, I must remain my cool.
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When its our turn to present, I begin pretty well. Incorporating humours within my lines without being rude or sacrastic(lol). I was constantly looking at the lecturers expression and make sure I never went over limit.
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But our design is just plain suck, I know that and then the bombardment of question and comments. I can understand that. I dun mind all these negative comments but what I really concern is my integrity. When someone says that 'we copy' once or twice, its like a joke, but when it goes overboard, it just not funny anymore and I got offended.
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I returned home, even when I am feeling very bad, I'm still able to cover myself and appear cheerful and as if nothing happen. The next day, I'm feeling better and I convert this negative feeling to positive. I became really fired up and enthu again. I know what we are supposed to do. Since we are really lagging behind, I told my group to commerce and continue the other sections of the website, I will concentrate on the layout.
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She called and said that everyone is very down. And as if I ditched the group... Now its my fault!? You guys could have continued while I solved the most difficult part, I'm lightening everyone load... She questioned me and it led to those negative feelings comming back. She wants me to stop whatever I was doing which was like wth!?
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Oh man... it caused me to lose all the enthuasium once again...