chocolate is a bar of HaPpInEsE...

2008-12-11T17:18:00.002+08:00

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE???

my new blog is http://www.5amuelchan.com/blog/

and all my archive can be found here http://www.5amuelchan.com/blog-old/

Re-link me =D

No tagboard there yet and Im thinking how I can implement that in wordpress. So anything you wanna say, jus leave a comment there ;)

2008-12-06T02:01:00.002+08:00

Just tot some of you might be interested in my VPess final. Its actually printed on 4 A3 paper and mounted on mounting board. When put together, it looks like this. All the layout is actually done all within 2 and a half hours. Include looking for all the images and stuff....

Also this might be 1 of last few time Im posting on this blog. I will inform you moved to my personal website 5amuelchan.com As Im writing this post, Im already setting a wordpress blog there. Dun worry, changing to self hosted domain won't make me sound more pro. Still the same old me posting, same self-obsessive posts, same lame, senseless, rantz...

Its actually easier for me to manage since I can also do my business in sync with blog posting (will be all manage in the same admin area) and also I have plugin to download the whole blog as a backup ;) something blogger or any free services can't really do at this time.

So hopefully, that blog will be permanent. Archiving my next... 20 years or so?(dunno by then is blog still popular. haha) There will be more of me, more of samuel, more of samuel poor grammer(ehhhh...) and more of the feelings I have towards my path of being a designer cum entreprenuer ;)

2008-12-04T15:37:00.005+08:00

Just came back home. Rest a while, write this blog, take some stuff and off to another place soon ;)

These few days, or rather weeks... Im living a very fulfilling and productive(not the type of productive, the government is encouraging =P) life. And I think God has not let me down. Well, not in the sense of transaction or I need something back from God to do His work. What Im trying to say is that we need to use whatever "talent" God has given us. It might be money or ability. If we use it wisely, He will increase it so that out lives will glorify Him.

I just received my "leaked" copy of the church 50th Anniversary yearBook that I have being doing for the past months yesterday... so excited I brought it to school to show my frens n lecturer the fruits of my labour. It isn't showing off. I know maybe some people can do a better job than me, but Im rather proud of my achievement this time round.

I can't show any church member the book itself now. You will have to wait till.... Sunday~! Which is 3 days later ;) So patient

I forget if this is coincident or on purpose. While designing the backcover, my face take out the best position in the cover. Not covered by anything or being cut off.

While doing all this free/voluntary work which seem to be waste of time to most people, God blessed me with good health and blessed my internet business. Time are bad yet my totally-ignored internet business is doing pretty well. Yes, they are all in US dollar.

Btw, after all my church stuff... Im going to start managing my internet business again. Im looking for more income stream that is like this, fully automated, and doesn't drained out my bank account like this one did. I actually paid US$997 with US$97 recurring each month for a video course and a whole suite of web automation apps. Im investing in gaining knowledge and in the mean time, paying $$ so I can automate things and freeing my time.

The course Im into will teach how to generate FREE traffic (im using PAID traffic now) and to quickly setup tonnes of high quality micro niche site quickly.... cool huh. ron, interested =P?

This is already quite old news... i 'revamped' my room layout.

Of course now is abit neater, I've packed but see... my room have more space now =D

Some random stuff I made with mac. Cool huh... at the very end of the seemlessly never-ending printscreen is a picture of me. Told'ya i always have cam-whore pic in my posts XD lol

2008-12-03T02:12:00.001+08:00

How To Increase Productivity

Value isn't what you say it is, its what the customer says it is.
Use your time and knowledge to create things customers think are valuable.

BAD things:
1. Multitasking hurts you, it makes you inefficient. It lowers your IQ!
2. Distraction and Interaction. If your distracted it takes about 20mins to get back to the point you were at before you were distracted.
3. Friction. Something not supporting you. E.g. uncomfortable work environment, mind thinking about other things. Eliminate all friction to get more done.
4. Monkey Mind and Emotions. When your mind runs away on other topics.

GOOD things:
1. Clean Focus, work in long chunks of focused uninterrupted time of a minimum of 2 hours. Work on one thing with no distraction or multitasking. -Customer Pillar, go out and get customers, advertising, social marketing etc. (40% of time) -Conversion Pillar, what to do after prospects show up on your site, your offer, headline, guarantee etc. (20% of time) -Content Pillar, products and services you create (10% of time) -Management Pillar, time, people and business management, keeping your books up to date, customer service, managing your time and outsourcing etc. (30% of time)
2. Clean Breaks - Pulse, after working chunks take complete rest and then work solid again and then take another complete rest and repeat.
3. Create Routines for Everything you need to get done, do the important things at the same time each day.
4. Renew Yourself, when we work a lot we become overworked and lose touch with ourselves. Take time to do fun, enjoyable things.

“Time management is a misnomer the challenge is to manage ourselves”

Priority 1 - Make Yourself Healthy - The 1st meal you eat sets the context for the other meals the rest of the day. Exercise early on sets you up for the rest of the day. Drink a glass of fresh water in the morning each day and take some exercise to set you up for the rest of the day. Do 5 mins of meditation, calm deep breathing and then have a great meal.

1. Make a list of all the things that create distraction, interruption and friction for you and put a plan to eliminate the distraction, interruption and friction.
2. Make a list of the 3 activities that create the most value for your business. Spend a minimum of 1 hour a day clean focus on each of the 3 activities.
3. Create a morning routine where you spend an hour each day to make yourself strong and emotionally good. Exercise, water, meditation, read a book, healthy meal.

source: my notes after learning Eben Pagan's method

2008-12-02T04:54:00.004+08:00

time now is 4:54am. sleeping soon. jus wanna show you guys what i spend whole nite doing =D

its for my Visual Presentation module and we were supposed to redesign in our own interpretation of our favorite movie. Mine is 'a beautiful mind' starring russel crowe =D

*****EDIT*****

after consultation tis morning, i edited and submitted this.

2008-12-01T15:24:00.002+08:00

I always knew my obsession of the web will lead me somewhere =D

from the article "15 Ways to Hack Your Brain For A Better Life":

"Surf the Net: Net-addicts unite! We’ve known it all along, and now we’ve been proven right. A recent study at the University of California Los Angeles found that searching the web stimulated centers in the brain that controlled decision-making and complex reasoning. A simple task like searching the web appears to enhance brain circuitry. Brain scans showed that much more of the brain was activated by internet use than by simply reading a book. Not to mention, there are all sorts of lovely online brain teasers and games on the web, just waiting to make you smarter. And here’s the clincher: the more you surf, the more your brain works."

2008-11-29T23:56:00.005+08:00

haiz... I shldn't had complain about being bz.... coz its a honor to be part of God's ministry.

This is the poster I've created for the Christmas play Im a part in. See the little boy is actually me. Movie poster and ticket ;)

Anyone interested beside the ones I've already invited pls contact me to get the tickets ;) Joel, i noe u wan. Jus remind me again and I will pass u ticket one of these dazes ;)

2008-11-28T20:00:00.006+08:00

Recently, Im really under too much stress but have no way to relieve it. I do not know who else to speak to so Im blogging all these down. It all started during SIP. SIP itself is tiring but its all part of life... working, gotta get used to it sooner or later. Then came my church 50th anniversary yearbook design. 128 pages in total. Although Im not the one who did the whole thing, the design aspect were all thru me. Printer side help alot or else by now, Im dead.

While doing SIP n yearbook, I am selected as 1 of the male lead for the church play. Yeaaaa... however the bad part is... the practise n rehersal which is super tiring.... Sometime, I had 2 practise a week (for my part).

Let's take a look at school side of life... I had model making elective, and VPess. Luckily Im quite skilful in hand work. I think i cope with it pretty well. But dun forget I have the FINAL YEAR PROJECT! The MAJOREST project of all the projects. The most important PROJECT for my 3 years of poly life and it has past 1 mth and seriously, to be dead honest, I never done anything. Yes.... HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING except for the proposal presentation. Its not like I have no idea or change of idea. I KNEW wat I want to do but I JUST HAVE NOOOOO TIME. OMG~!!!

My FYP is suppose to be used for Diploma Show 2009 which is quite a big thing. Nope, done nothing. And sometime during Jan, I need to setup my project 4 installation bike for OPEN HOUSE and I need to reshoot some video. Production most likely need 1 week. Fair enough.

before i proceed to more personal stress, let's take a look back at church stuff. While doing yearbook i was asked to also do the Christmas play's poster and the play's entrance ticket. I was like..... ok.... ok.... (if u noe me well, u would haf known me as a person who do not refuse any asking for help) so i agree to take up the project too. Which is due... like.... TODAY!? After writing tis blog i need to rush to finish it. I also had to create a flash flipbook version of the church yearbook which i finally completed yesterday... like finally can breathe well abit.

also on sunday, Im in charge of multimedia.... and I had to come out with the powerpoint slides for this Sunday's service....

Hmmm... VPess need to submit on monday, so tt give me Sunday, after service to do. Fair enuff...

Abit personal stress. Grandma's memory is a little failing rite nw and if you seen "Money Not enuff 2" you would understand.... keep asking the same question o'er n o'er again... I can't really concentrate on my work for a full 1 hour. Today she asked me to eat for about 7 times? From the time I reached home which is abt 3 pm.... all the way to 7 pm which is my usual dinner time. Why would she ask me if I wan to eat at 3pm, 4pm, 5pm, 6pm and anytime in between??? I have noooooo idea.

If you are a follower of my blog, you would have noe I had a little quarrel with my gf a while ago. Good/Bad news.... she promoted to become my ex alr. whooo... but tooooo stress to even feel sad about it which is pretty sad. Ha. haven updated my facebook status as I dun wan my parents to know. My mom is on facebook every nite so if i update it, it will be very obvious.

Im stressed enuff, dun wan dem to give me stress. Oh well... my mom read blog too so its jus a matter of time be4 she spot tis.

Another personal stress is quite time sensitive and critical and ... need to be resolve fast. My cashflow is literally dying~!!!!! I have only 400 plus in my bank acct nw n my tis mth bill is almost up (which is about 600 plus) Once again, follower of this blog will noe im into internet marketing.... and i received thousands and thousands of dollar of cash... I have already received 3 check amounting to about $2600 by only spending abt $1000. So ROI is 150% but the problem isssss... even the first check, which is $1500 has not cleared yet. US check take eons to clear n im now worrying if it is goin to be cleared or not. Once the first check is in. My cashflow will not be this tight....

Another problem is since now I have no time to even look at my internet marketing stuff... I haven really went in there and tweak and maintain.... so sales dropped by ALOT while daily advertising fee remain the SAME. I need time to go in to optimize the campaign... like seriously... and look for more ways to automate the whole process. TIME is of the essence. (not brand essence)

I also need to read my bible, QT, very important.... need to exercise for NAPFA which I set every monday, wednesday n friday (i have postponed today training to tomorrow). Everyday after lesson I will go straight home to either sleep or start work. No time to hang out with Joshua, dey all sit there, do nothing, play games, watch videos, chat. Im taking my work very seriously and I dun wan to scare dem n stress dem by doing my work in school =P

Recently, I also bought an iPod Touch which I really loved it. My first mp3 player actually. I need music to bring my stress level down. And I used it when exercising which is really effective in motivating and keeping my energy level high. Im into all kinda 'brain hacking'... im able to control my emotion very well... which is why when i break up with my ex, the whole world never crash down on me. I am able to keep happy and use put in heart into everything I do. And God is also out there looking out for me. Making sure I was not stressed sooo much I couldn't handle.

Some random tots to end tis post off.... I want to be illustrator! I want iCat (cousin of iDog) for Christmas! Stress sucked but I enjoyed it! I seriously need a life! I already got a life! I wish a pill is all the food I need for a day! I want to stop time like Hiro and finish all my work in a 0 second! Being a speedster also not bad (finish work in a milisecond)! I loved my new room layout! I want to draw! I want a kitten (that makes 2 cats. iCat and a real cat! I am handsome! I am thickskin! I am better than YOU! Ok la, dun sad la, u r good too! YT is spec club president! I am spec club VP! PHY is cute (oops)! Sam is not equal Samuel! Samuel's chinese name is SPECIAL!

I love being me...

2008-11-25T17:59:00.001+08:00

i spend a whole afternoon doing VPess...

In the end, this is wat I've achieve =)

2008-11-24T15:52:00.004+08:00

Yes, I just cut my hair. Gone with the emo look again.

Recently, I've lost my 'motivation' to do work. However, I kinda found another source of 'motivation' kinda kinda kinda... yah. It wasn't intentional, it just came naturally. I realize it in the most stupid way.

However, this 'motivation' is not stable yet. I feel like Im playing the game 'Topple' (ipod touch game)

feels like it will topple anytime =( but heck... i reallie do...**** *** so go for it. and have no regrets =|

2008-11-15T11:35:00.004+08:00

If you guys rmb my last few posts. I wrote about Nokia N78 advertisement having problem. Some comment to me that since they have printed it out, they can't change already. So don't blame them. Yah I agree... but tis morning, I saw the advertisement again then i feel like looking at the web version. Web can be change easily (after I had experience in my company) so if they spot the mistake, they shld quickly change it rite?

But look at this

the mistake is still there~!

if you can't see it clearly. here is it again...

I have nothing against Nokia, im not biased. If Apple made mistake, I will also point it out. Nokia see tis also nvm. Quickly get your designer, amend it. We will appreciate if you show your information/visual correctly ;)

2008-11-10T12:42:00.003+08:00

Its the last day already but I still have no idea wat to say, wat to do. Or shld I even do anything?? Geeze.... blasting music now. Hope the ANSWER will jus hit me like the way i got hit by INSPIRATION

2008-11-09T11:13:00.003+08:00

I was labelled techie by 1 of my friend because of the ipod touch I bought 5 days ago.

I have to politely disagree coz I am not = / If I am I would grab it when it first came out. I was already eyeing on ipod touch ever since iphone first came out. I did my own research what it can do, etc. Especially when iphone SDK came out. I even use rapidshare *cough* to download the paid developer package and want to develop for it (even though I do not have it, yet. ha)

The last straw for me to want to get one is coz I seriously need to listen to music while I am outside. Recently my emotion fluctuate too much. However dun worry too much, I have very good self-control. Music just make me happier all the time and stop me from thinking too much =D Then i look thru apple site, I actually jus wanted to get ipod nano just for the purpose of listening to songs, but den when I check apple again, I was once again 'WOW' by the touch 'AWESOMENESS' so i bought the refurbished ipod touch (save $170), which was in absolute perfect condition.

Here's the part which show I am abit techie. Within the 2 hours of playing around with touch and getting bored with it, I hacked(jailbreak) it. Please... jailbreaking isn't illegal~! For those who are concerned. When you bought a ipod touch from the store, it is officially yours, you can do whatever to it. hack it, mod it... you won't get into any trouble. They didn't let u sign a form whereby you will be charged if you mod your toy. Apple just wan to make u think it is illegal because they are such control freak (won't let u modify by your own). Notice they use words like 'not recommended' But for those who wan to send to Apple Care, that's a different story. The only agreement is that if you mod it, you void your warrenty (that's true). So whenever Apple offer me Apple Care, I will jus ignore it.

2nd day, I openSHH to break to access files inside.

3rd day, I have tried over 50 apps and deleted 1/2 of them leaving 20 which I think is the most useful. Justin suggested intelliscreen but after testing it. I found it is not memory and battery friendly so I delete it. Not that it is bad, but I just wan to optimize my whole system.

4th day, I tried to setup VNC connection between my Mac and touch so I can remotely control Mac with touch. After 1 whole day of trying... it realize my router dun support UPnP so I wasted 1 whole of trying.

5th day, I used up 5GB plus of memory already(2.9GB of songs). So luckily I never opted for the 8GB option. iPod Touch reallie have the potential to do alot more rather than just using it as mp3.

So thats all folk~! I love my touchie =D ha

2008-11-01T20:51:00.004+08:00

Some people seem to be interested what Im doing, well... to make ur heart more itchy. This is wat 1 of my marketers friend is making.

6 figures a month without working your ass off is possible...!

Even more impressive right. Haha. =D

So dun bug me. Im just a small fry in the world of Internet Marketing. =P

Just dun be greedy hor, guys =D

2008-11-01T16:24:00.001+08:00

I HAD A HEADACHE SINCE TIS MORNING!!!! AARRGG...

im not superman. After all this stress and late nite, I finally can't take it n my head hurts like something trying to drive a stake thru my skull!

2008-11-01T14:30:00.004+08:00

After posting my account up, some people tot im super rich, etc, etc. Which Im not. Im as broke as anyone out there coz... ClickBank pay us only every 1 mth + Im spending $$ from my own pocket to pay for advertising + US Check take eons to clear = Cashflow is terrible!!! =_=''... so now... let u salivate... see tis is wat I made the last few days. But Im not able to get tis till next year (most probably) =_="

(enough to get an iPod Nano!!! So tempted!!! Arrggg!!! No... control...)

The last few days, I've getting some sensitive friends (oops, dun be offended =P) asking me wat happen. Why my nick like so sad... Ha. What dey couldn't figure out is why in real life I still look so happy, so normal. Too bad, guys... jus keep guessing. I dun feel like saying. Wait I emo den u noe. Ha. =P

2008-10-26T05:18:00.001+08:00

Earlier, I was talking about designing for my mom and dad wedding anniversary card. Here it is. The time now is 5:20am so I will make it snappy. Will be another busy day tml =____=''

A letter and a... thing, i made XD

Closer look, you will see all the alphabet is pop-up and there is flower made of cut-out and rolled-paper.

Anywhere, Im reluctant to say what it previously n only saying it as a 'thing' becoz i will show you now what it is.... its a pencil holder ;) haha

Basically, most design is out to solve a problem. Be it Steve Jobs want to sell more mac thus making more beautifully-designed macs... Website designed to give visitor a good impression or... in my case, My home's computer is out of ink. No choice... Just have to use hand-drawn stuff and some handicraft. Didn't know non-computer-designed stuff also can look so cool haha... self praise

So, Ciao. good nite. miss me. cya guys around *yawn*

2008-10-26T01:19:00.002+08:00

Let's see... yah. I just shot tis pic while i was doing framing for my church yearbook picture. Thought some people might be interested in my... my... handsome picture XD (THICK-SKIN SELF PROMO ALERT).

Btw, I was wrong about the church yearbook design deadline. Some of you might have noticed I getting so stress up in school and ignoring most people. Man! I wasn't giving anyone attitude. Im jus too tired. And I never sleep from Sunday to Wednesday(Only a few hours nap from time to time). Today, I reckon that I will not sleep again. Too much things to do. Blog, supper, design my mom n dad's 23th anniversary card and finishing up all my church design!

Talking about design... I really felt that I've once again acquire the passion of design. All thanks to my SIP and my supervisor, Wayne, who kept giving me design stuff to do. I was a bit reluctant at first but after my 3 mths SIP, I realize my design is better =D

And I begin to realize and see into design around me. Every living thing is a work of design of God which I think is beautiful. The design world just suddenly start to fancinate me once again. All the small details and little touches of designer that make simple everyday things interesting. Every design element is there for a reason.

Recently, I was checking out the new MacBook which I think is beautiful. Steve Job's lackey (haha) pointed out that the new Macbook is simple and stylish and they eliminate everything they feel shouldn't be there. Every elements that remains is there for a reason.

I wholehearted agree with this statement. That's good design. You shouldn't plunk everything inside just because you like it. They must be there for a reason. Now I start to appreciate Art, appreciate creation of God, appreciate good Design...

... but... shit happens. Designer is just human. Designer make mistake. Jus look at this Nokia N78 advertisement that was pasted on Chinatown MRT.

So... spot the mistake? Maybe you can't see it well... blame my bad phone camera.... nooo... blame my own camera skill (mus take responsible n not jus solely blame external stuff ;D)

It read there... 0:52s(where the music is at) and 1:58s(total length of the music) so the bar should be in the middle instead of 1/3 way thru it. Did you get it? I think the designer thought that 1 minute has 100 seconds. So, 52s of 158s is about 1/3 of the bar. But remember what you study in primary school? 1 min has only 60 seconds, that mean 1:58s only has 108s!! so the ratio is about 1/2!!!

I just pissed off that the designer missed up this simple details... Even when I was at Convertium, my design go thru a whole series of checking and mistakes that I wasn't able to spot is spotted. Why did nobody spot this before it was printed =(

That's my rant for today. Off to design =D

2008-10-22T09:02:00.003+08:00

Stressed and shocked all in a day.

Its being the third night I have not sleep well... (first day never sleep at all, 2nd and 3rd sleep at 5 plus) Using coffee and music to numb my tiredness and stressfulness... sometime I suddenly feel im very stressful... which I found out its because my music stop. All the feeling came back when there's no music as distraction =P Yes, Im blasting music now... Fast n Furious: Tokyo Drift... all in Japanese. Mindless n senseless noise =D

That's the stressed part. As for shocked part. Today ... out of curiosity how my totally-automated-and-ignored Internet business and wondered who was it doing. Look what I've found out

Today was a highest record of $124.60! I had time where I have multiple consecutive days of $99 but $124 till now is the highest ever since the time I overcome my obsession of money. The $0 for friday is due to me not paying my Adwords bill and Google totally shut down my operation for a whole day =(

Tuesday-tuesday... 1 week. Let's see. About $370 (0.0)'''

Then again, its made from 1 campaign. Im storing all the $$ into my bank. I seldom draw money from the atm (yes, I still get weekly pocket from dad)... and jus spend what i have on hand. I wan to setup business in the future, so i am storing capitals now, that's how serious I am ^_^)

So anyone who want to do biz next time, you know who to find ;)

2008-10-18T20:50:00.004+08:00

Busy busy busy... Just installed Adobe CS4 Design Premium (Indesign, Dreamweaver, Flash, Illustrator, Photoshop, Acrobat 9 pro, etc) Now rushing church design(and did I mention I am in charge of collecting offerings tml =_=''), so I will blog again most probably after this comming Wednesday.

No time to rebuke girl's comment as well. Haiz... *shake head*

maybe say abit ba, and its most probably the same response, how can you know what someone else think... Everyone has their own thinking. I used to believe in the 1 source belief as well... and even to the extreme of some 'evil' belief. Im not going to elaborate on it. Jus a word of advice, go research and dig in further. I can say i believe a rock/mountain has earth spirit or even believe moon got Chang'er. People used to (even now) believe Chang'er on moon but science jus prove it wrong.

You may say God can't be proven by science but dig in more n do research. In the end, alot of scientist n "high-level" ended out not being able(even if dey really want to) to disapprove the existence. Im not saying Im high-level or anything... and im still learning n researching. I dun want to continue or this will end up being a religious blog. Juz go research >_<''

Anyway, Im lagging behind my blog post. I still have not put up

1) Me and Jinnie jie jie movie day,

2) Supervisor treating me dinner day, and...

3)Last Day of Internship

Well, posting pictures in blogger isn't something ez. but in less that an hour, I posted all my "Last Day of Internship" photos in facebook. If you want to see it. Click the below picture.

click the picture to go to facebook photo ablum of 'Last Day of Internship'

2008-10-17T11:26:00.002+08:00

I was just talking with my friend just now and comment about my recent blog post. She say something like... "if you think those feeling is only 2-3% of you, why don't you just show others your 98% of yourself?" I was like... "right but... that would... that would... " i was speechless. I just want to tell others some secrets, some sensitive issue I would nber tok about in reality. But whatever I say on my post won't really much affect the Samuel in real life.

So, now... ban. Ban emo emo post. Ha-ha. Well... anyway, I will change blog soon. After internship n church yearbook design, I will revamp my 5amuelchan.com website =D and add at least 2 new wordpress blog ;)

So watch out....

2008-10-16T00:47:00.002+08:00

Now, it takes time to clean up the mess I've made. I just want to say, there ARE really taboos in a relationship and one should never cross the line. But for my case, I was... "forced" (situation) to commit one of the taboo and I caused a huge sandstorm.

But no point trying to explain n defend myself... if the other party just don't believe. WWJD? I think he would just stand there n be judge and wrongly accused without defending himself. While I am not as perfect as Him, still I should I never retaliate. Its another mistake.

Will the sandstorm ever clear? Or will the other party be still standing there when it clear? Now I can't see the situation clearly.

And normally, the one who is talking to you now is only the 2% of what Samuel is. Just stating some feelings, tots n tiny bits n chunks of his mind. If one wants to know who I really am. You would just have to interact with me more. I dun like to say I am hw good I am... that's actually boasting n just state my bad point n let other discover the good points demself. That's being humble... oops yes I shldn't have say I am humble... haha... that's boasting liao =P

So well... everything clear off my mind liao... back to reality n let's do some work >=D

2008-10-15T10:01:00.000+08:00

Is this the kinda thick n thin we just went thru. If it iz, its kinda scary... as it almost jeopardize the relationship. Sometime I just hide alot of things from others... And if you start wondering if this is gonna be another one of those emo post, yes it is. skip tis post if u wan =P

Most of the time, I do things with a purpose. I have a higher level of doing things (sometime I don't) that I don't normally like to tell others about. Don't worry, its never ever evil intention.

I will think of what Jesus would do in a particular situation. Most of the things he did appear weak in front of others, being ostracised to some degree but alot of people jus dun see the "higher level" of his action. Which is far more important then what others see n think of him.

Well... I not saying I am Him. I admit I am not always 100% correct n my action is not always the best one. Im never be like Him and Im never perfect. But I hope if there's only 1 thing i can learn from Him, its Love. His unconditioned Love for us and the ultimate sacrifice He made for us at the cross.

My relationship with girl girl is also not that shallow. I never meant for her misunderstanding but Im glad it all clear up. I will not go into details about tis but I would like to again end this post up with something for the reader to think about...

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without
expecting to get anything back.Then your reward will be great, and you
will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
Luke 6:35

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:8

2008-10-06T09:17:00.003+08:00

Can't believe it only has being 1 month with girl girl. I am sorry, I can't remember when we officially start. Because, to me, time seem to pass so slowly, close to a standstill, when she not around, and the time spent together seem to pass very quickly. I never knew its just 1 mth =P

Happy 1 mth together girl. I... I... oops. This is a public blog =x
hxxp://cyborg5000.blogspot.com/2005/12/hi-everyone-anyone.html

2008-10-06T04:07:00.003+08:00

The time now is 4:08am and I have work tml, so I will make this snappy. I just went in to check my clickbank balance after I check it last Thursday, and another $170 plus over the course of just 3 days! All without me doing anything. I setup this campaign ever since I start internship. Just one! Yes ONE. You never heard me wrong. O-N-E. And there's nothing out there to stop me from making 2, or 3, or 10 every single day. Just from 1 campaign. And look at the figures there. It not 100-200 plus a month. Its for that week only.

And of course, that's not the nett profit. Some overhead cost and charges is only about 10% of wat I am making... so for every $10 i spend, I make $100.

The only thing now that is stopping me from creating more campaign and increase my profit is Time and Not-to-be-Greedy. Time... I have always pioritize God as 1st, followed by relationship (with girl girl, families n friends), followed by studies, then my own interest, then lastly money. So if making money compromise and reduce time I spent to do those in my piority list. I will say no thanks, even though it is easy money.

2nd, not to be greedy... I have a lecturer, Tommy, who once shared with me the danger of greed, and I totally agreed with him. Well, actually I had a time when Im also making $200 plus a day. I was soooo... sucked into and engrossed in it that I never realized I spend almost all the time there and compromising spending quality time with others. And I totally became another person.

After that incident, I reflected and prayed to God. In the end, I never even cashed in those $$ i made during that period which is around $1500(in jus 1 week... now imagine 4 weeks. $5000-$6000). I left it there, untouched. As a reminder that I will never be overwhelmed by greed again. I was tempted by greed, and defeated the temptation and won. Now after learning my lesson, now that if I am blessed and entrusted with more money by God, I will never fall into trap of greed. Even if I had only a dollar or I have a million dollar, will not change my relationship with God, with others.

I will like to end off with 2 bible verses that help me thru... take a minute to ponder what you read...

Matthew 6:19-20

6:19 Stop storing up yourselves treasures upon the earth, where moth and rust consume, and where thieves break in and steal

6:20 Rather, store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes, and wehre thieves do not break in and steal.

Mark 8:36

For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

2008-10-06T02:02:00.008+08:00

Sometime I find myself being too narcissistic, and very easily get jealous... Okay, I will change. Don't be narcissist and be more indifferent and trusting.

Ohhhh... monday's coming soon, which mean, another of episode of Heroes is about to show!

2 more weeks to end of work. Finally freedom!!! Not that it is bad or anything, its just that Im not used to sitting there like a block for long hours, looking at screens... I have wat they call, 'sharp backside'. I can't stay on a chair for long without fidgetting =P

Btw, for all those MAC owner out there who love the Photo Booth as much as I do (might not be as narcissistic as me), I have a great little tip for all cam whoring boys and girls out there.

*For the sake of those window user out there who have no idea to even what Photo Booth is. Photo Booth is basically a fun little application built into every Mac for you to take pictures with your webcam. There's alot of effects to choose from and I particularly like the distort and this 'siamese twins' effect (aka mirror effect)*

Do you guys notice I bright light... when you are taking pictures? That's the flash dude... Sometime, flashing might alter your colour. To disable the flash, hold down the 'SHIFT' key while taking photo. Ta-da... no flash. Or are you irritated by the stupid countdown (as you always close your eyes, when it snap)? Fear not... all you have to do is to hold down 'OPTION' key when you take. It will snap immediately! Combine tis 2 keystroke (hold down 'SHIFT' and 'OPTION' together) and you will snap a pic immediately, without flash.

Particularly useful for snapping your friends or co-workers who is jus sitting beside you without them noticing. Start playing with your photobooth...

2008-10-04T19:45:00.003+08:00

Ok, i feel better already, but Im still tired....

o...ok. After venting it all out. I think I feeling better. I need a few minutes alone...

WTF, dun come n 烦 meeee!!!!

2008-10-04T19:19:00.007+08:00

Im not sure if it was the effect of the caffeine I just taken or something else. Dear guys, you dun wan to read emo emo stuff. Just skip tis post entirely.

I really had a weird feeling. I wanted to believe I am wrong about it. Maybe Im jus too sensitive, maybe. Im tired... My head is spinning, I need rest. I need care. Im super negative now. I need to switch back. I need... sway my attention. I need more coffee. I need to drown the feeling. I need to feel loved. I need attention. I need sweet. I need chocolate. I need something to prove that Im wrong. I need help. I need to be not negative. I need to be positive. I need to release my stress. I need a simple massage. I need... just a simple laugh. Im so... tired...

I am a joker, because i love to see other laugh. I talk to everyone, because i dun wan anyone to feel left out. I work my ass off, because i wan a good future for my family. I stick a smile on everyone face, because... i hope others will stick one on mine too...

that's all for my random rant... i should feel much better now, but im not...

p.s. i need to look happy because i do want to spread the unhappiness to other, what a shitty thing to do. Please don't come and 烦 me~!

2008-09-30T22:20:00.006+08:00

Omg... I watch this trailer and Im thrilled about the next episode of Heroes, 'I am Become Death' See what Sylar say....

See, a "domesticated Sylar". In the kitchen, kissing a doggy (Look like Claire's dog btw).

Here's what he say to present Peter. "If you told me you were coming, I would have made extra."

In episode 3, Sylar became Noah new partner. One of us, one of them. That's the rule and how they work to capture super-powered criminal. The Haitian has the power of 'peace' while Sylar has the 'force' with him. I doubt Noah will be used to having him as a partner. Will Sylar permantly turned to the 'good' side? I think we will just have to catch the future episode.

2008-09-30T09:25:00.004+08:00

Being a while since I last blog. I gotten comment from others that my last post is abit confusing. So if you have not yet read the post before this, I dun suggest you reading. You know, its another one of those emo emo type of post where i say how i felt at that moment. It had being a while since I blog liddat and I don't wish to start it again =D

I dunno when it all started, but I will feel very weird if I dun post pictures to compliment my post. Like the old saying a picture speak a 'million' words (this show you can't trust watever you see on the internet =P )
This is a picture of my church still under renovation XD a place where i worship in ever since I was young... all the happy memories in there. It finally going take up a new look.

I was sick the whole of last week. Flu symptoms like running nose (i prefer walking nose), sore throat, fever, body aching, and cough. Haha... post a pic of the sick looking me so i get more sympathy from others =P No lar, Im really very sick and on Wed, I can't even get out of bed.
Sometime I forget to bring my home key along with me. So this was wat happened to me if no one is at home.
This is one of my 'victim'. My violin teacher's doggie, Dodo. In the above pictures, she paused and stoned, with her leg high up. No reaction for nearly 1 minute.
My duckie very lazy. See... sun shine so bright already still sleeping. haizzz...
During 1st ever F1 night race in Singapore, the Ferrari team really was dissapointing. Not only the potential champion for that night, Massa had a little trouble at the pitstop, The defending Champion Kimi Raikkonen also crashed after turning into a slow traffic and had no time to react. It goes to show that, anything can happen, Alonso and Hamilton, you guys are just lucky. haha

2008-09-21T18:10:00.006+08:00

Haha, Im writing this post while Im in the office. I jus have some stuff on my mind that I wish to share.

If you notice my facebook status. It reads im a unique individual. Pertaining to that, I have had friends calling me and asking me in person what is it Im so special. Lol. Well... its jus a random status/quote someone put so what's the big fuss (no offense)? Some of you might have remember me putting the status, "Samuel is so handsome (which is quite true)", and I get the respond of why Samuel's so thick skin (soo sorry for any not being to follow what Im trying to say, since Im still sleepy and I myself had no idea what Im driving to).

So well, if you guys want to know why is Samuel is a unique individual, lemme help u break it down. First, Im thick skin. No doubt Im a little introvert at time but the truth is Im more confidence of myself and thick skin then most extrovert people. It jus tat Im really bad in talking so if there is no reason, I rather keep my mouth shut. Second, Im not easily influence. Majority of people is always influence by trends and what their peers do. But i don't. One of the example these days is that, everyone into photography recntly (even my gf seem a little interested nw = /) and alot more getting influence and jumping into this hobby and buying those expensive 'toy'. Some might say, its a matter of personal interest, but I don't see it this way. I know alot of people taking up photography just because their peers do and it seem 'cool' to own one.

For me, Im not constricted to the norm in the society. If you want to be normal, you can, and no doubt, you will blend easily into the thousands and thousands of people jus like yourselves. However for me, I want to be unique. I don't wish to lead a normal lives jus like the majority of the people out there (it doesn't necessary mean I want to be rich). I want everyday to be an adventure, everyday a new day to look forward to, everyday a whole unique experience, so I can enjoy everyday God has given me =D

Ok, third is that Im willing to change to be a better person. I already have a lot of positive titles out there, like Samuel's a good boy, Samuel's very helpful, Samuel's a pro at ____(fill in the blank). I was even awarded 'Singa Award: Most courteous student' while I was in Secondary School (which I think was really a joke... cause I dun really consider myself courteous and this suggest that majority of my schoolmate is not courteous).

This however, dun stop me from wanting to change and become a better person. Im constantly reflecting myself and watever situation Im in that require me to make a decision, I will think what would Jesus do in this situation. This doesn't mean Im always faultless. I still make mistakes and wrong decision at time and I pray to God to forgive me when I sin. Things like get angry and scold my sister, cheating at _____(couldn't really think of any now) and maybe be rude at _____ (families, friends, seniors, etc.). Well, that was abit Holy doesn't it? Lol... lvl up... ta-daaaaa...

There was once in the past(before my girl girl), I was rejected by this particular girl. Its quite some time ago, when Im still immature (to some extent). And the reason for rejecting me is pretty... weird... actually. She say, "... ... (alot of useless junk) ... so even if I give you a chance, will you even change?" I pointed this incident out since the third point state that if given a good reason, I will change. There's a chinese saying that goes like this, 'Jiang mountain easy to change, but a person behaviour is hard to change'. Its jus like saying 'a leopard never change its spot'...

Well, if the change is positive and don't contradict to what the Bible teaches, I will change. There is also a lot of things that while reflecting and decided to change without others telling me. Things like 'hao lian'ing (lol), giving people attitude (one of it happen during P2. Arrgg... i muz change i muz change!)... These dazes, I don't do that anymore. At least I dare to point out my own mistake, alot of people don't. After pointing out I will consciously put in effort to do the changes.

This points shld be able to show that Samuel is a unique individual (I think) so ciao!

2008-09-20T01:59:00.000+08:00

Okay at the end of tis post I will show u the face of my girl girl. No checkered, no cover, full face ;) Sooo... do read the complete post. If you skipped n scroll to the end, you... k i won't say so much just read.

Yesterday, or rather the day before (since it pass midnight alr), I promise my friend...to show (without 'off') my $2000 violin. Some people have a thing for goo

d camera. My colleague recently just bought a semi-pro ranged DSLR (with all the accessories) for $3000 plus. So, since i take crappy photos, I think my camera phone will be enough for now (all images shown on tis blog is taken with phone cam)

My violin come with a cert. And the violin "IC" number is 123! Such coincident.

The sound is simply stunning, rich, and quality is definitly better than my $500 EuroString violin. This violin ROCKKsSs!!!

Another reason why I got this violin (and is so excited in getting this) is that i want to be the teacher of girl girl. Come, lai, bu yao shy... lao shi jiao ni =DOkay. I posted this pic cost it is a special 'occasion'! i did something i never do before. And I jus realize my skin got thicker (compared to 3yrs ago. Lol)

Today, was the first time I was late for work!!! Look its 9:35 n im still at maxwell... (9:35:35... hmmm... did i mention my lucky number is tt as well?) Well, i won't be lucky if i bump into the boss when i get to the office late = ( but hey... still not good. Rush rush rush(haha... late alr still got time to take pic of my watch)

Wooo... got back to office. First time, late... Even my HR reach office alr and she was the one who let me into the office (rmb i mention i dun have key card?) Run, run, run, roll, roll, roll to my desk and I open my bag... I took out a stack of my "loot". Kiasu singaporean... koping a stack of free brochures (ok nt tt great), postcards (now we r toking) and robot toy templatesSs (cool =D) where I got this stuff? the story begin when i reach chinatown at 7:45....

I reach Chinatown at 7:45, already taken breakfast and was strolling around Maxwell food centre area. That's where I spotted the URA centre. I rmb my supervisor mention there is a model of Singapore (literally) so I decide that since I have some time to burn I will have a look around.

I was dumbfounded (or dumblost). It was really a huge model of singapore... All the buildings were there in place. That's also when I realize Singapore is soo small. I look around Serangoon and spotted my house... I look around Tampinese area and spotted TP! Right beside bedok reservior (or is it bedok swimming pool?) which now look so small, jus the size as my palm

ok, the actual pictures is found here hxxp://cyborg*5000.blogsp*ot.com/2005/12/hi-everyone-anyone.html(change xx to tt and remove the astrieks) So if you skipped and jus scrolled to the very end to look for my girl girl picture u will be dissapointed. Again =P

I will be brief now... since the time is 3:02 am and i still need to do my church design work... Okay... on the 2nd level, I spotted another model... this one is much bigger. I can now even see the building where I work. Neh (neh neh... pok)... around SouthBridge Road... and Chinatown MRT jus straight ahead.The toliet bowl sure hates me alot = ( Rmb the last post, I mention about bathing in the office? Now, in URA Centre toliet, when I flush the water...!!! It happen again... now worst!!! I jus urinated, thinking pressing the button will flush away all my excretory product, it never goes down the sewage pipe! The flushing of water make the toliet bowl overflow... and soon my urine is chasing me.... as i do tap dance around the toliet, trying to avoid stepping on them. First bathe, now dance, wat's next? Swimming? =_=''

This is where they make all the cool model... with many more still in the making... like esplanade, and the city area building...

so if u r interested... go visit... anw. gtg do my church design nw =D

As promised... this is the pic of girl girl (she made using faceyourmanga.com =D) hehe...

jess girl girl =D

and she made me also =D

2008-09-15T23:41:00.000+08:00

Its being a while since I last blog. Due to my hectic scedule... I have no much time to blog. Those of you reading this blog... you guys very free hor (say in a smiling manner as not to offend any.LOL) Let's see wat had happen over the past week.

Something very funny happen to me last week. In the office, we had free flow of beverage!!! (distilled water) so of course the kiasu me couldn't resist free stuff and drink AMAP (as much as possible). That increase my count to the wash room as well... more toliet break... whee...

So the story begins when I was taking a leak in the guy's (i dun wear skirt) toliet. I flush and move to the sink t wash my hand... i heard the flushing of water... continued and continued... then suddenly SpLussshh... (trying to make that sound effect). The next second, I saw water flowing out! I inform the boss immediately. This is not a minor leak man... look at that!

Soooo... since I caused it. It was best that I do something to help... i went in... now the water up till the sock level... I tried to fight with the water... SPLisH, SPlaSh... covering the hole of the burst pipe... and trying to reconnect the pipe... but nothing works and I end up like 'a chicken that is drop into a soup'.... =_=''

Wheeee.... I took bath!

During the period of my internship. Even with my tight budget on lunch... I still got to eat good food... like Sushi Tei, Bei Hu, Don... and talking about Don, look what I had for one of the lunch!!

CLAYPOT CRAB BEE HOON! A whole Sri Lanka Crab all by yourself man! And the soup is.... Delicious! Simply luxious... simply... simply too expensive...

Look carefully, it $16 leh... Enough to eat lunch for a whole week =_=''

Anyway... this is a pic of me on most morning... I would take out my macbook (black!! im so proud of it =) ) and started reading some stuff and listening to music... (i got addicted to the Locoroco soundtrack man!!!) outside my office door way... need cardkey to access. Due to the shortage of cards, interns wasn't issued one =_='' And I was like the earliest one lo... I get to work on 830 when ppl start coming in at 9-930 =_=

Feeling rather bored when my supervisor and gang go out for lunch and started talking abt camera... I did this 'masterpiece' after finishing my plate of chicken rice. I asked my mom what this look like to her and what I ate for lunch... She say "french/italian food". woa... look like I have a gift for fine cuisine =D

Another leakage of my girl girl footage... haha... still can't see properly...? Too bad =P oh yah... that monkey on her phone is me =D hehehe...

Last sat, we went to watch Wall-E... lol... being a mac, or rather, Apple fanboy... i can't help but notice... there's a bit of Apple propaganda... Wall-E has iPOD!! and another one... most people might have miss is that when Wall-E boots up, he makes the standard Mac startup sound. That is of course... Steve Job is the largest single shareholder of Disney (which purchased Pixar)....

Oh wait... I got too carried away... when toking abt Apple's stuff.... the main thing is I'm with Jessica and we had a great time together. (Aiyooo.. i forget to do the move... wat move, u ask? nehh... those fake fake yawning... hand wide wide... then put hand over her shoulder, that move lor!! LOL..hmmm...)

2008-09-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

Haven blog like for a long while. Being a long and busy week for me. Rushing all these company works, dealing with all the demanding(not that it is a bad thing) clients and projects that I undertake projects that have to deal with sex and beer... (hey, im jus an intern leh. haha) Also, on friday, I jus taken my violin grade 7 exam (praying hard that I will pass. Yes, jus pass)

On teacher's day, I got this cute little present from my student in Sunday school... my student is called Ting ting... such a cute and sweet little girl... I still keep this wrapper.

Jus yesterday 69. Yes, 6th of Sep, My cousin, Esther celebrated her 21st birthday at my house's BBQ pit. I made her a very special card. You can see the card on the next pic. Anyway, it was a fantastic day... cos u see, I bring my girl girl along for that birthday celebration cum family gathering. My cousin already suspected something but I never told them. It was meant to be a surprise mah... haha. Then everyone shocked. But that day, I was super shy, see below. My girl told me my ear super red and now that i seriously go take look at the picture, it is red!

The card my girl was holding was the card i made for my cousin esther jie jie. nice right?

haha... i never show you how she look like... errmmm ok lar.... a little peek ;)

Na... here... hope u all are happy... that's enuff revealing stuff 4 a day. =P

***Edit (added) ***
Oh yah, forget to mention. I actually have a good news to announce... lol... sound like Im goin to propose to my girl girl. NOOOO!!! Anyway, I was given the part of the male lead in our church christmas play. I have 10 appearance in a total of 15-20 scenes, which mean alot of dialogue to memorise =_=''

However, in this role, the character is secretly in loved with another female character. Sooo... Im not sure if my girl girl will be jealous anot =P

2008-08-20T20:08:00.000+08:00

Today, I received my first paycheck =) !!! However, I won't be having the privilege of spending it as I have already allocated them for various uses. Here goes. The first month allowance, $500, will be offering to God, the 2nd and 3rd month, $1000, will be used to pay part of my new violin, which is $1900++ So I am basically broke this whole internship =( soo... my fellow colleagues reading this. Please treat me!!! Wahahaha.

Li Jia, take a look at this. Im trying to imitate VJ Utt on the ad. He had this side-way peek... Wahahaha

Yesterday, Elvis visited me at work. The meeting up of the lecturer, my supervisor and me were feeling abit weird, as my supervisor normally converse in chinese. There's a while for me and my supervisor to tune back the english channel... I still have no chance to snap a pic of my supervisor... dare not take out my camera in front of them, course all of theirs is few thousand dollar DSLR.

During the meet-up, I remembered Elvis asking my supervisor how am I (*hinting, IMD students) compared to other interns. And that they might want to send more IMD students next year. Being my usual self... sociable, friendly, professional, skilled (wahahaha, self praise)... my supervisor feedback that Im the best intern they had. Elvis is quick to react and mention that I am stronger in my technical aspect, also one of the rare breed in IMD, however say my design skills aren't strong and IMD has more designer who is better than me in the sense of design. Though he was just saying... I felt that he's trying to sell IMD students. Wahahaha... Its like saying... you think Samuel is the best? We have much better ones...

Although what he say is true, that I am weaker in my design, he no need to say until liddat mah... hahaha.

Delicious dinner I had just now. Yea! I'm wearing the pick 4-D shirt. Hey Xiao Hui, don't be mistaken, I don't do 4-D one de lar. Wahahaha...

Here's something I made from the styroform that comes with the new computer (no I didn't get to use the new com). Everyone has a vinyl figurine at their desk. Everyone, except me. I love them too lo but due to my tight cashflow, I can't afford one and made this instead. My friend say she want to see it, so I posted it up =D Here I am pointing our toy shotgun at my 'figurine'. Hmm... I shall call him/her/it Sha-sha

Sha-sha is ready to go to war.

Cool google! Sha-sha want to challenge michael phelps in swimming. I will start training it so can participate in the olympic 4 yrs ltr in london.... first, it will start off as a float.

Teach Sha-sha the way of a designer. From here, its tongue is more visible.

How big Sha-sha really is on my desk. Cool deco, eh? Yes, I change sit again. 3 times already. Everytime a new staff comes in, intern will be kick again. Im push to the Tech department already. So,

Some people say I am lousy in hide-n-seek. I would have to polietly disagree. See who can find a better hiding place than this?

By the way... Im really, super, duper, motivated to work hard and become an excellent designer. Some people say you can't be good in both the technical aspect and the design aspect and some people even say designer shldn't even touch code, cos if they do, it will be messy. I disagree... and I want to prove them all wrong and show them I can be a multi-disciplinary designer >=)

Im also super motivated to lead a better life, fitter, happier, smarter, handsomer (hahahahaha), creativer, and if can, richer =) I jus came back from gym after running 2.4km on the treadmil and 5 sets of the 'pull-down' bar. After finish this post, Im going to practise my violin... after violin I will draw a computer graphic to be included to my portfolio... will show you guys if I manage to do it. Ciao.

2008-08-16T22:58:00.000+08:00

Was going to blog yesterday, but I had a bad headache, very tired and ended sleeping on the floor with mac still running again.

Oh yah, another week has past, Im now approaching my 4th week o

f internship in Convertium. 3rd week is a very fun week. Not just that I've being as

signed alot of company's project, we also have a new colleague, who is very friendly. Anyway, I sooo... gonna turn her to the mac side. Haha... Xiao Hui is a very sporty person, play golf, badminton, etc. Im not any worst, but my fitness level is seriously deproving. Then she encourage me to join a gym class, BodyCombat. After visiting t

he site, I find it is sooo cool, but laziness sets in. Let's just see first.

After work on Friday, I had dinner at Sushi Tei... a long hard day/week at work, should deserve something luxious.

Appetizer is served. Delicious, mouth watering and crunchy squid.

Cha Soba, also known as cold noodle. Tasteless and bland noodle that when mixed with the soy sauce provided, taste heavenly.

Hot and steaming chawanmushi.

After the appetizer, my main course is here... Rich, creamy, pasta with a crispy and soft, 'Soft Shell Crab'. Jus thinking of it, make me mouth watering, once again.

After Sushi Tei, I was walking around China Square Central when I spotted Planet Fitness. So this is where my friend is telling me about. I never knew it was just here. The sign I spotted is very tiny, I could have easily miss it.... so was it trying to tell me something? That I should go for fitness. Membership for such club is expensive, but obviously i know that I am just giving an excuse. Should I? Should I not?

Anyway, as promise, here's Joel's score... he send me a pic of his high score, 4447.4m!! Wow.

By the way, CELEBRATE my fellow Singaporean. We are gonna have one day holiday! Even though it hasn't being announced yet... Our prime minister mention that if we ever get a medal in the Olympic, Singapore will get a day of holiday. So since Li Jia Wei made it to final, it meant that she would either get a silver or gold medal!! But I doubt she will beat the top seed and get a Gold medal. There is an element of luck in table tennis. If Li Jia Wei met this China player in the early in the game, she might not even be able to make it to the final.

2008-08-12T21:37:00.000+08:00

Haha... because I post that game on my blog, it block my tagboard entirely. I had people telling me on msn, calling me, and SMSing me how much they get instead of just using the tagboard. Some find it very hard to even reach the 2000 mark, some got higher than me. Sorry, no prize for those getting more than me. And for people who haven play it, play it, and try to beat me. haha (Hope this post will be long enough to push the flash game lower so the tagboard will be visible again.)

A new staff came to the company I am interning in. After a while of chit-chat, I found out she graduated from TP. Another TP senior in the company. Anyway, thanks ah... if not for her help, I may need to work OT liao. Haha.

In office, I led a very healthy lifestyle. haha... drinking lots of water. And of course, needing to go toilet very often. Is not I lazy huh... haha. Starting to find work more and more enjoyable. People started to realize my strength, entrust me with more important things and consider my suggestion. I don't feel like an intern anymore (although my pay/allowance is still very little. ha)

Was transferring photos from my phone via bluetooth and I found this. That's my Dell at the back there. Remember this was taken when LiJia and I did the Heroes fansite for PHP class. The eclipes she made is very cool. That is also when I started my love for MAC. I see her macbook, made me so envy, since it is slick and nice, compared to my Dell... hehe... and we were also joking back then that the dell i used is also used by mohinder surresh of Heroes. Hey gonna spoil it for all you guys out there... in season 3, mohinder got super power (super strength). Haha... I manage to get myself a copy of first episode before it was released. Don't ask me for it, I won't leak it. =)

Joel told me to post a photo of my office. not sure if it was allow in the company, but I did anyway. That was the day we moved to the new office. See, even the chairs is not moved here yet.

We also had 2 shotguns in the office where we are able to play with it as and when we like. Double shot man... till now, I still unable to get it work properly. My supervisor refuse to teach me how to operate it correctly. Haha... so sometime, shoot 2, sometime only, sometime it never come out.

Oh yah, this is the position I am in, while writing this post. Yeh, lying belly flat on the ground... hehe...

Ok so Sayonara

2008-08-07T01:04:00.000+08:00

Super funny and cute game... Enjoy

my highscore is 3029.2m. Beat that =D

2008-08-05T22:19:00.000+08:00

Today I was supposedly planning to write some emo stuff of how much i...

so anyway, i dun believe Li Jia coz everytime ask her how internship, she say until like how great it is. It was like... how much better can hers be compared to mine (or anyone's else). Then I notice a link on her nick then went in...

After reading the blog, I can't believe just how awesome it is. Dun believe!? Take a look http://bunnyatmtv.blogspot.com Well... anyway... going to MtV music award doesn't really excite me... its the working environment! They have staff lounge, pantry area, and free drink vending machine.... but what really excite me is that the whole place is crawling with these yellow guys

(sorry kope yr image)

I will go crazy if Im working there man!! So I feel so re-engergize and full of hope and that I will work hard to improve my skills so that in the future I can be good enough to get into company like that. Yah... I also feel so happy for Jia.... yea... Jia You !! HEHEHE

2008-08-03T13:18:00.000+08:00

Just went out with my friend yesterday for the movie Dark Knight. Ha-ha, 2 hours thru the show and we were wondering why it have not ended. After the show, I was quite blur and fatigue, went around window shopping for a while then go home. I went straight to bed and slept for like 5 hours...

Really not used to working. After I enter poly, my whole life has not being disciplined. I play all the time, slack all the time, leave work to the 11th hour and now that I go to work, I need to arrive at work on time, sit on the desk the whole working hours, and being productive everyday.

Anyway, back to the movie... after returning from the movie, my sis asked me who I went out with. And was making fun of me, when I say it was a girl. Hmmm... like why can't friend girl just go out hang out together as friends? Maybe at her age, she still doesn't understand...

Update a bit about what happen last week. If you guys read the last post, I was mentioning that I was going for SIP. I can't say much of what I do, but I just gotta say my supervisor is abit quiet. ha-ha... but quiet is better than one who is always nagging right? However, he's a pretty cool guy.

Just before I wrote this post, I was watching the movie ' You don't messed with the Zohan' on the Plasma TV. Pretty cool show and funny as shit... However, I won't be recommending it to people since there is too much sexual reference, and exposed butts... (Zohan had sex with all his customer after the hair wash/hair cut) ha.

2008-07-22T22:59:00.000+08:00

We have left with only 1 day and so little time till P4 Submission. So, photo blog again.

This is the IDEATION and planning board.
... and who tie a ponytail while I was asleep? (*clue, look at the glass)
and like my previous post which has an ape version of me... some people believe alien exist and even help human to build up mighty civilisation like Egypt. Who knows, maybe aliens still live among us!

Ok, ok... look like I still have some time to spare. After this week, I will be starting work at Convertium and.... oops, we were warned. Not to talk anything about the company. Company confidential informations, trade secret is at stake. So, gotta keep mah mouth shut.

The stress is piling up, luckily I found motivation for me to complete my P4. Lunch with phy and movie with yummy girl. So looking forward to it =D So jia you samuel!

... and ciao... will be leaving for SIP soon.

*update. Alot of people(classmates) will be working around my office area so gotta find time to go lunch break with them =D

2008-07-19T23:46:00.000+08:00

Kinda freaking some ppl out with my last post. If you have not read it, I suggest you skipping it. I was a bit furious while I was writing that post.

Just having a few problems in the family with my sis and was venting out my anger.

For a while after I wrote that post, I was also got so pressured about that incident plus alot of other commitments, that I literally breakdown. Symptoms looks abit like some mental illness. Just for a while, just for that night. The next morning, I was okay again. Super scary, since its the first time I crumble to pressure.

2008-07-18T11:37:00.000+08:00

For this post, I have both good and bad things to say...

David from MAKE Studio actually wanted to employ me during my SIP. However I have to honor my words since I already promised to work in Convertium. Then David want me to work for him after my FYP which is really exciting, but hmm... but I have to still be cool and not look so desperate. LOL. Anyway, put the principle aside, another factor that prevent me from wanting to work there is Daniel is attaching there too. Ha-ha... Well, I actually don't mind working with him around. In the past, I was also preparing to work in Activa even when I know he might going there too.

So my future will be moving towards technology and installation sector? Cool, that save me the time thinking of what to became when I grow up.

Finish all the goody goody stuff... now left with the bad things to say. I really am disappointed at my younger sis. It truly break my heart to see her turning bad. Just yesterday, to teach her a lesson, I actually punish myself. Sound weird...? Its like this... After a lot of talk we had over the years. She said that she misbehave because she forget what I told her (OMG, obviously that was a lie too, but this is not an issue...). So we made a deal that everytime I tap her on the shoulder, she should remember not to misbehave (sound like I'm teaching an animal... hmmm... but no, this is call anchoring). So back to yesterday... I was telling her why she misbehave again (her misbehaviour doesn't stop at merely talking back, she actually steal...!!! If I do not give the appropriate punishment, she might shoplift in the future!), and she say she forgot. Obvious thing to do now, is to tap her. But due to my carelessness, I accidentally touch her ear ring and she make a ULTRA big fuss and cry that it was painful. How hard can a tap be?? Obviously she was trying to get out of being punished by crying... (work on my dad, my mom, my grandma, but nah... it don't work on me)

Even after I say sorry a few time, she continued the wailing. Suddenly something came to my mind. I bang my head on the wall a few time. She stopped and looked. Now my head is almost to the point of bleeding. Then she realise that compare to the touch painfulness, this was at least 5-10X more painful then hers. Like... now she is not fit to make a fuss... Don't understand the situation, take for example in an car accident, someone twisted his leg vs someone whose head is bleeding profusely and unconsious. When the ambulance arrived, who will the medic attend to first. Obviously the person who is hurt the most. Just like tt moment, she is in no position to cry, cos I pain is much more than hers. However she still complain a bit that her ear is pain.

Then I hit my hand on a solid edge that it begin to shake due to the pain and punch myself(literally) on the face. Finally she stop wimping on the pain cause by the touch. So stupid that I have to resolve this using psychology. And I had to go thru the whole process of lecturing her. Blah blah blah...

After that lecture when I got back to work. My hand hurt so much I can't write and I can't even use the mouse. My head still hurt, my cheek is swollen, and my ear is red and hot. I never looked into the mirror, I know my ear should be swollen as well... Up till this point when I am writing this post, my hand still hurts.

Look... I am going crazy right here, I rather be handicapped, if she as good as me, or even half as good, be a good girl. Just maybe having a few minor children problem(no one perfect right?)... THAN to have her becoming an ah lian, shoplift, smoke, become a problematic child. Just the day before, she say she want a skateboard. I hate to say this, but her result is already not good, she has bad learning attitude, result is not improving, what the f*ck she want a skateboard for! She don't even know how to sweet talk and maybe say her result will improve if I get a skateboard. When I say no, she just got pissed off and say she will get dad to get one.

The thing that pissed me out so much that I want to vent it out all on this post is that just now I found a book she wrote. Death Note. Oh GREAT! The movie is PG and I remember the first thing I told her not to learn is to create a Death Note (I know she got alot of enemies in school) NOO... she make one anyway.... You know they ban Death Note in China because student there make Death Note and wrote the people they hate on the book and hope they die? Alright cool, no surprise my name in there too... Last Name, cause yesterday's event is the most recent. I continued checking through the name list. Almost all her classmates is in the book. Only a few of her friends is not in there. OMGosh like she really got an issue. I wonder why when I was in primary school i don't have these much enemies.

Another thing they really make me furious is that she wrote grandma name in there too. OMGosh... the worst misbehavior to me is to be disrespectful to elder. Have you watch all those chinese bad guys movie. Even those 'bad guys' and gangsters kill, rob and do evil deeds, they still respect their elders and even parents. So I rather she be disrespectful to me than to grandma.

Normally, people would suggest discussing this issue with my parents. But hey! You know all this issue is started by them. They would always say she will change when she grows up. But that's what they say ever since 6-7 years ago and look what she is like now. Getting from bad to worst. And again alot of her rudeness, and other bad habits is picked up from my mom. My mom like to also complain alot. About work, about the things that happened just now, yesterday, etc. Also that's why they say guy die faster, they keep things to themself, they don't complain. All the emotional pressure and burden kills them.

However, do you know there's also another kinda of people...(people like me. OMG, self praise) who doesn't complain and have no need to keep them in their heart. To forgive others of their wrongdoings, which is a command from God. The world won't change because of you. (I won't be elaborating on all this cause this post is getting a bit long)

Long story short, even when I say all the bad things of my sis, I don't actually hate her and I will pray very hard that she will be changed by God.

2008-07-11T14:06:00.000+08:00

Okay, a new personal project. I am trying to get Aspen Simulator (aka iPhone simulator found in their iPhone SDK) working since App Store just open for business. Not planning to learn to create any app with that, but won't it look cool to have a fully operational iPhone in your Mac. If I succeeded in extracting the app without the need of download the whole SDK package, I will pass this app around and share the joy.

Anyway, I think I have change alot over these 3 years in Polytechnic. Like for example, when I first entered Poly, or in fact, when I am in Secondary School, I really mind how others think of me. Now, I don't really care anymore. Its not in a negative manner. Its like if you constantly minding how others see you, you will be doing things to show your high status, you will try to do things to impress others (which I think is an act of low self-esteem). Alot of successful people don't care what others see of them. Even if they fail, they continued and try again, irregardless of what other say. Which alot of people might recognized as... thick skin.

At the end of the day, I knew I did well, that's what it all matters...

2008-07-03T22:00:00.000+08:00

Look here guys, I don't really have much time to blog here since I need to rush my Project 4, so I will cheat a bit and add a few of my photos I took using Photo Booth.

hmmm... no comment on that

Heroes Pose. I have the power of striking the best pose.

I'm bitten by a genetically engineered mosquito! Now I'm Mosquito Man!!

The bad side (not backside) of being Mosquito Man is that I need fresh blood everyday to subtain my uncanny power. Hey you! Yeh you over there. Yes you. Don't look around. Your thick artery by your neck looked yummy. I'm coming for you tonight. Muhahaha... (PG- Little boy, little girl, don't scare, gor gor is just kidding)

This is my family.

People say we were evolved from monkey. Look like they might be right.

Me's mom and me

That is sooo... freaking funny...

Just find this pic unusual...

I'm doing stuff even my lecturers don't know. Electronics... I think I would just stay at home these whole module to do it myself.

Am I adorable =D

I look more handsome than Sylvester Stallone.

That conclude my photo blogging. Ciao.

2008-07-01T21:54:00.000+08:00

My dad's birthday on October. In his birthday card, I drew this =D

2008-06-30T00:38:00.000+08:00

OMGosh... Just another blow to me when I'm feeling helpful. If you know me well enough, you would know I enjoy helping others. No doubt, sometime when I feel low, I will not be in any mood to help anyone.

I won't tell people like, here's what I did... I did so much, how about you? No matter how much I do, I will say I did very little, and is slacking, since most people can relate to that. Then if they do alot, good for them. If not, hmmm... then I will motivate them. Tell them to buck up! They won't feel the pressure, my progression about the same with them. I will give them a little push to get them started.

However, it get pretty weird if in turn, that person come to motivate me. Its like... Okay, you did alot, that's great... dun worry... I also do abit. Its really okay, I got do this, that...

If you don't understand the post I just written, nevermind... this is just some random thoughts I want to get off my head.

2008-06-25T22:07:00.000+08:00

I was playing my violin. I have to admit Im not very good at it and how good I played it depend on my mood (Seriously)... This afternoon, I was playing it and man... however I tried to perfect it, it just suck, reason being I am really having a bad mood this few days.

Even when I am usually very optimistic, I really feel I lost all my goal in life. The sound that came out of the violin was really bad. Irregular bow stroke, bad tempo and bad intonation. I was feeling really bad then.

What's my purpose and goal in life? I was asking myself. It came to me that life is not just about chasing goals and dreams. Before that, I needed a macbook so badly that I worked so hard but when I got it, my demand is fulfilled, I suddenly lost all motivation. Our purpose in life is to worship and gorify God. Sometime you will be different because not everything the world do is correct. Its kinda like a different perspective and different way of thinking that set us apart from the world.

Its just that the chasing of worldly stuff that make me sway away from what I am suppose to do. The moment I understand that, the music that came out of my violin became nice again. Ha-ha...

Anyway, I have a sister that I do not know to love or hate. No doubt I am still a very good bro and taking care of her, but slowly bit by bit, she's picking up my mom bad habits (with all due respect). She's also slowly developing qualities that I hate most in people. I do not associate myself with people that has these few personalities (not going to say what they are), but now my sister is becoming that kind of person. Talk about irony...

2008-06-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

i'm tagged and have to do this survey... okay let's see.

1)At what age do you wish to get married?
- Hmmm... 27. So a few more years, so gotta find the right person asap. Hehe

2)Study hard or play hard?
-Huh? Why don't have 'Slack hard'?

3)Who is the person you trust most?
-let's see... oh... there's one. The person standing behind the mirror.

4)Why do you think you have not enough confidence?
-you ask the wrong person. I even conduct 'self-confidence 101' class.

5)If you have a dream come true,what will it be?
-the girl of my dream become my gf. Muahahaha!!!

6)What is ur idea of a friend?
-Help you do your work(hohoho), lend you a listening ear when you just wan to tok.

7)What is your goal this year?
-spread gospel to a particular friend

8)Do you believe in eternity love?
-yes, God love for us?

9)If you have all the time and money in the world,what would u do?
-Buy an island, build a chalet, and moved in with my family.

10)If time were to unwind,what would you change?
-Hmmm... I already thought of this question alot of time. It is to prevent disaster. Warn USA about the 911 crash, warn people about the Tsumami, warn China about the Si Chuan Quake, etc

11)If the person you love is dying,would you stay with him/her or lead a happy single life?
-stay. And hope time will stop at that moment. Forever.

12)What are the feelings you hate the most?
-Getting backstabbed.

13)Do you cherish all friendhsip of yours?
-YESHHH... of course. But one need to understand that most friends is just passing-by your life. You need to just select a few a build strong relationship with and cherish them.

14)Do you believe love at first sight?
-Yes. The girl of my dream is one of the example.

15)What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
-God

16)Who do you hope to be always behind you,supporting you?
-God

17)People who are going to be hated by you?
-what a question. God wants us to love everyone, even your enemies. I hate the sins/wrong-doings of the person, not the person.

18)Describe the person that tagged you in 5 words.
-[Suwen] Smart(top 10 in class leh!!!), Entertaining(her blog very nice), and... and... very... (oops, I ran up of my 5 words limit =/ )

19)How many percent do you think you are infront of your friend?
-101% I try VERY best to be the best friend a friend could ever have. Hahahaha =D

20)Do you think long-distance relationship will work out?
-i know of some who do but if you asked me, I don't think so.

2008-06-10T00:33:00.000+08:00

Today we watched a series of Twilight Zone on a man imaging things and going crazy for being alone in a small confined space for 2 weeks. Solitary. It will drive people crazy some time. Once you get addicted of having company or companion around you, you can't live without them. Its the same scenario for me now... going back to the solitary of my home, I begin to miss their company.

Anyway, today while we are told to change group, I was abit reluctant to leave my formal group but in the end, I never regret leaving the group cos I told Daniel to replace my place. He look so cute and his head was low all the time. I think he is shy when he is around the girls (which he do not know). Justin was okay, he was cool, but Daniel just isn't used to talking to girl that is a stranger to him.

He reminded me of a friend who was in Boy's school from Primary to Secondary school. That friend of mine was just like him... Being shy when looking and talking to girls. But all his talk about is how to get girls. He was pretty girl deprived... and looked a little desperate and needy.

Hmm... I had alot on my mind rite now but I have to sign off here since I need to wake up early tomorrow for violin lesson... so ciao. Good nite

2008-06-08T18:29:00.000+08:00

Recently, I went crazy over movies. Watching past movies. Just today, I downloaded(oops) Hellboy, Spiderwick Chronicles, Next, Sunshine and Chocolate (thai martial art fighting movie). Just watch Hellboy and Sunshine. Ha-ha, so anyway, I'm waiting for the DVDrip version of Kungfu Panda to come out.

By the way, the whole family, except me, went to Thailand for a church excursion. SO, finally HOME ALONE for 3-4 days... Its damn cool. The whole house for myself, and stock full of tibits and foods enough to organize party! Wooohoo, but I won't lar, of course, I rather stay alone and slack the whole day. WHeEe...

I forget to mention, I got my touchscreen system ready. I can totally turn my mac into a tablet mac, or even do a touchscreen on any projector projected screen. I achieve this by using a wii remote (all thanks to johnny lee's projects). The only cost that I had to folk out is for the wii remote(remote used to play the nintendo wii). It cost $69~!! and I walk around PS (plaza singapapura) for 3 hours before I decided to buy it. Figuring I can use it as an Apple Frontrow remote, a mouse and even a Presentation remote, I find it quite a worthwhile investment. ( A good Presentation remote cost from $30-50, maybe more) This remote uses bluetooth, has a built in accelerometer, and an infrared camera (usual price $100 plus). Initially I wanted to buy a Apple remote for myself, now came this wii remote which is even better than the Apple remote. Apple remote connect using Infra-Red (Apple is so good as a visionary, why they never think of using wifi or something), while a wii remote connect using bluetooth (not as powerful as wifi but alot better than using infra-red)!

Anyway, that's all for now!

2008-06-05T08:15:00.000+08:00

It's being a long while since I had that 'tingling' feeling. I felt my heart was stolen once again (credit to monkeylove). I used to go out with my girl friends and even if I make joke or have alot of fun with them, the feeling is just different...

I am not ready to go into another emo stage and not attempting to. Being the expert in interpersonal (me and the other person) relationship, I know very well exactly what to say and how to read body language... however, having my heart stolen, messes up with my brain and I am really afraid I would do the wrong thing.

I met her sort of accidental. She's from VSC too, but is still in year 2. I was thinking of writing where and how I met her, but... I think I will not say. Or else it will be damn obvious... I do not want rumors to start spreading. I just want the person who stole my heart.

I was thinking of writing more about our IMD excursion to the museum and discovery centre but I just couldn't stop thinking. Ha-ha, but at least, I won't be as despo as that Moon man we saw in Creative Writing. Just keep my cool and believe that "boat reach bridge head naturally straight" (direct translation of a chinese saying) =D

2008-05-24T16:38:00.000+08:00

Its being a real-long boring stretch of life. Right after the submission of my previous module assignment, (some game crap...) I had to deal with SIP. I need to get into my company, Convertium, and make a customized portfolio within 2 days to show them. I totally shut myself away from the rest of the world, while I am doing it. I can't afford to lose anymore time.

I seriously need some time off doing work. I seriously need coffee. I seriously need to talk to someone... Haha... SO now I basically shouting into cyberSpace and see if anyone is there.

2008-03-27T18:10:00.000+08:00

Wheee... Yesterday was the last day of Project 3. So, what it meant is that I am now officially on holiday. (finally...)

A lot of things happen since my last post. Like for example, my 1 year old DELL spoil and I got a new MacBook (Black)

I redid my p3 website when I only had about 3 days left before submission.

Haha... now is all fun fun fun, i completed God Of War within 5 hours. I'm going dl more games to play on my psp. Ciao =D

So, now you know why.

2008-03-08T08:47:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure if my friend will be reading this. I just want to give my expertise, since I self-study psychology, social engineering and some 'black ops' stuff (underground psychology, not many people, even psychologist might not know this) This emotion of loving "difficult ppl" is not hard to understand.

You stated that nice people are simply not for you. Oh man, I'm strike out of the list. Lol, its not my initial motive anyway, so who cares. Haha. And you like people who is "difficult" to love. There's actually a reason for this. This fact is scientifically proven, tested, but is remained unknown to the public. Its no big secret, but people who knew this either is a PUA (pickup artist), psychologist or an "information junkie" (like me) since there's not much reason why one would know this.

I'm not saying everyone who applies this is a PUA or a psychologist. Most people do this not on purpose or is unconscious that they are doing it or even that they do not mean to invoke this feeling.

Haha... I will keep you all still in the mist for a while. I notice this stuff being repeatedly used everywhere. In reality, in TV drama. I doubt the scriptwriter even know about this but wrote story that has this element cause they observe this through normal human interaction, social interaction and by reverse engineering social behavior.

I won't continue with so much technical term (that I may be unsure of their real meaning), so the secret is simply this. Female prefer male who give them emotional roller-coaster. You might be saying... huh? That's all? Yes... its suppose to be just so simple, but to prove that I do not simply come out with a so-called "love philosophy" that is made up by me. I wrote so much above to show that its true and is credible. Not discovered by me. Its by the phD people and years of research...

Okay following this is MY own interpretation of why this fact is like this. I may be wrong but since I am an very high INFP ( I will state what each letter mean later), I am more reserved but have an extra "sensory" to others feeling (aka social engineering). Female are more emotionally orientated, so its more likely to hook into an emotional roller-coaster relationship. If its minor, its quite fun and add spice to ones love life but most emotional roller-coaster relationship is pretty unhealthy.

When you are in an emotionally addictive relationship, you constantly feel like you are on a roller-coaster with soaring highs and lousy lows, moving you between glorious feelings of ecstasy,
followed by horrible feelings of agony. You know that you shouldn’t be there as it is against your better judgment and against everything you believe, yet you feel paralyzed. You can’t leave!! It is a very difficult decision to make and even more difficult to carry out.

Sound familiar?

Those are just a few characteristic of emotional roller-coaster. I figure that her emotional roller-coaster is not really that bad yet. Its either she can try to improve her own relationship or get out of it as soon as possible. That's the only 2 ways she can do if she want to improve or make it better. If she do not do anything, she might even get worst, or even if its turns out better eventually, she will be very prone and weak to another of such emotional injury. So 1 word of advice, take action. Oopse, that's 2 words = /

So now she knows why.

-------------------------
Ha-ha, as promised, this is what INFP means

Introverted (I) 96%
Intuitive (N) 91%
Feeling (F) 85%
Perceiving (P) 77%

Different sources may have different breakdown of what each word mean, but in a nutshell, I am introverted, but have an extroverted social observation. I can interpret and analysis what happen in social interaction but am not very good at it yet.

However, when I was in relationship myself, I can never figure out what's going on. So generally, Im better at viewing from a witness stand point then when I am in the situation itself.

2008-03-07T20:53:00.000+08:00

Whee... I'm happy today =D

2008-03-06T17:28:00.000+08:00

wow, like omg, just half a day and I can't stand it. Stupid test, stupid attempt. Let's just end it. Won't be deleting those posts so as to remind me that I attempt sometime like that. Lol...

2008-03-06T14:45:00.000+08:00

omg, alr 4 posts in a day, Haha... just a few hours and I already cannot take it. Hand itchy to text my friends alr. Haiz...

But I think I need to continue. I won't value the importance of friends if its taken for granted. Hungry now. Need food... oh man. How i wish I am an immortal, no need to eat = P and won't feel tired.

Better eat something if I want to keep tis up. Signing out.

2008-03-06T13:10:00.000+08:00

Just found some random stupid poem...

Not written by me pls, I'm not so ke lian. Haha

Hmmm... this guy really sad sia, really need help

Alone to cry
Alone to laugh
Alone to smile
Alone to frown
Alone to live
Alone to die
Alone to wander
Alone to discover
Alone to learn
Alone to live
Alone in pain
Alone in hurt
Alone in joy
Alone in the morning
Alone in the night
Alone in the afternoon
Alone in this life
Alone in this world
Alone in boredom
Alone in knowledge
Alone in this state
Alone with people
Alone at work
Alone right now
Alone when I was born
And alone when I will die
Alone walking through life
Without any pride
How can you be satisfied
Living your life like you do
When you know there is some one out there
Who could really use a friend like you
No one will know how I live
No one will know who I am
No one will ever get to know me
Because I am destined to spend my life alone
I am always alone.
It’s no fun to be alone
To do everything on your own
To live with no recognition
To share my pride with no one
Wanting to have someone
To live my life with
But for now
I will continue alone
And all alone

2008-03-06T12:43:00.000+08:00

Okay, sam... shhh... dun speak =X

2008-03-06T12:01:00.000+08:00

Woa... almost fall sick yesterday, pop a Panadol, went to bed and was awoken by the freezing weather this morning. I'm feeling much better now.

Anyway, Im not feeling emotional right now. Just had this very bad feeling... I suddenly dun wish to be associate with anyone right now. Like some ancient dud who wants to shut off with the outside world and meditate. Of course I won't be mediating lar.

Ever see cartoon whereby there's this angel and devil thingie is speaking to the cartoon character, Im feeling it right now... like omg... my conscious??

Just like its healthy to once in a while, go on a vegetarian diet, I'm goin on a relationship diet man. Pls, dun speak to me and dun ask me about it, Im serious.

Yah, take a look my handphone, last msg, "Dud, whr u?" Okay, that's the last msg I will see for some time. Turn it off. Completely shut off with others. I don't even want to sign into my msn liao. Haha...

There's simply too much distraction right now. After writing this, I will simply go for a jog in order to clear my mind a bit. Yes. And, start my work.

2008-03-04T23:13:00.000+08:00

Oh, yes. The blogskin has change again, I notice my last one cannot access my own archive.

Anyway, I just want to talk a little about my the lecturer in TP.

Well, when I first met Tommy, he came in during Choy's class and was telling us what to do for the game, what size it must be. At first, I thought he was some lab technician or something. And when I ask my friend who he was, he reminded me it was the new lecturer. Haha... I see, so this is Tommy.

I always had this impression of Tommy as this Power Ranger guy (remember? he was green and then white ranger). Lol.

So, for my P3, I was in his class. So let's see what he is capable of. Since Ben left and replace with Elvis... its like okay... Ben is good. He is a very 'hip' designer. As for Elvis, I haven really know him yet. I just know he is good in coding = / Then there's Pang Jing (is it spelled correctly). He's like so quiet. Never hear him speak before. Haha...

Back to Tommy. So during the first lesson he told us where he was from and it sounded quite impressive. Remember the PETS textbook we had in Primary School. He was the project manager for the CD version of PETS. How cool is that? It reminded us of all those happy and innocent time while we were in Primary School. I still remember that we had to count the total number of PET in the textbook. Remember? Lol.

Then I also notice he is very keen in developing his mind (omg, jus like me). He told us he will also had psp in his bag and play to keep his mind active. Do things that will constantly stimulate his mind. Hmmm... okay, so then I notice he is very critical and creative. I also like the way he deal with his children. Lol. Wow, I want to be like him when I grow up.

So long story short, I really respect him =D

2008-03-01T21:07:00.000+08:00

I'm tagged in someone's blog, but I won't tagged anyone else since I always break the chain of tagging. Anyway wanna know more about me right?

I WAS: a 18 years old just a few days(oops, is weeks) ago

I AM FROM: Singapore

I AM THINKING ABOUT: my unfinished project

I SAID: I would exercise regularly but I'm feeling lazy today

I WANT TO: be the best son, brother, husband and dad ever

I WISH: to find a best friend

I REGRET: not attempting bungee jump when I went to a trip in NZ

I HEAR: traffic noises. My apartment is very near the road = (

I AM: going to become an entrepreneur

I DANCE: when no one is watching

I SING: Patapon~! A new rhythm game of psp

I CRY: yesterday... ... ... ... ... ...NOT (the speed Borat say it)

I AM NOT: handsome... ... ... ... ...NOT (omg, self praise. lol)

I AM GOOD WITH MY HANDS: ... errmm... shooting rubberbands?

I WRITE: blog pos

I CONFUSE: myself....I'm very absent-minded, I don't think before I speak

I NEED: do projects

I LAUGH: when I am with my friends

I VALUE: friendship and marriage (am I too young to say that? lol)

I LOVE: God, my family, friends and... okay... and my enemies too =D

I THINK: I'll start doing my project after I write this post

I HOPE: I can find the ONE... ...

I TAG: No one (ooo... can I tag myself again? This is fun. lol)

2008-02-29T23:24:00.000+08:00

Wow. What a fun day...

Started out with a boring morning as I do my Project 3 work. Seriously, I think I was working WAY... too slow. I can't seem to regain my momentum for working. It was like I work on Flash for 5 minutes, look at what I done, admire it (lol) then give a pat on my shoulder saying, "Good, this is what I want to achieve" and check my psp battery. Yay~! Its full again, then I started playing for about one and a half hour till the battery is flat. Then get back working for another 5 minutes and switch on the tv and watch the news.

After the news ended, I get back to work... but wait, better sent a msg to 'yy' (lol, nickname. Hehe) and see if she awake. Hmm... I don't think she awake yet, better continue doing my work. But wait, check the psp battery. Cool, 50%. I can still play a while... and I play for another 45 minutes or so.

Sent a msg to 'yy', then called her. Okay, she is officially still sleepin'. Lol. And when she finally replied, she say she jus wake up. At 1pm plus. Hmm... why am I not surprised. Lol.

When she came at 4 plus, the rest was quite enjoyable and fun. I can't believe I sat there to do my work for more than 30 minute (approxi.) straight without leaving my seat (maybe also because there someone to tok to \/= -_-)/). Set an own personal record. Hehe. I can never do that ever since I enter Polytechnic. Brain juice is drained man.

Previously wanted to eat Sakae for dinner, lazy to 'Q' so we chose to dine at some Korean restaurant at a deserted corner. Never had so much fun ever since enter Polytechnic (note to people who want to enter Poly. Poly is fun, but I never bother to mix around so its not fun 4 me. haha)

Its a fun day, nevertheless, it is also a very tiring day. Saying about tireness, I'm feeling tired right now and I think I will stop here. Awww.... (yawn)

2008-02-26T18:01:00.000+08:00

I didn't know if i should be panicking or not.

1) I have not started my P3 (6 cus~!!!)
2) No motivation to start
3) Not even worried that I might not finish
4) Relaxing everyday (justifying myself by saying, I need to wait till I get that spark of inspiration)
5) I only have 2 weeks left~!!!

Oh man... I was even addicted to my psp game, Patapon, right now. Just completed 5 missions. Patapon... they are cute little creatures... wait. Alright, i should not think of games now. Where was I. Yes, my P3. Like I was saying, I need to start work now. I had being too distracted these days. Still in holiday mood I guess...

Wait, I don't even have holidays, what am I talking about!?
You see, I'm not even able to think correctly...

Well... better start work now = /

2008-02-25T02:02:00.000+08:00

During the pastor's sermon today, I'm once again reminded that we cannot serve both God and money. I once decided to follow God's way and everything I do, I did it for God. Then there was this period of time, my wealth suddenly increased from my Internet Business and I got too obessed with money once again.

As I venture deeper and take a bigger risk, I lost all the money again and went back to square one.

2008-02-24T00:19:00.000+08:00

I was leaning at the pillar, watching the buses went by me. Recalling all the past memories, both happy and sad when I was in secondary school. I wish to talk to someone, but...

I had a great day at my secondary school's (Christchurch sec.) carnival. A few of my friends are relief teachers there, since they are waiting for the 'A' level result, and were selling tickets of CHR's carnival.

I promised to buy from them and went there at around 4 o'clock. Had a great pool game at the staff lounge with some of my old classmates, Juliana, Cheng Ken and Vincent until we were chased out as I'm not a staff \/= -_-)/

After which, we went to the airport to see Emily off but we were too late and end up not being able to say goodbye to her. = (

Had our dinner at T3. Wow, it was damn big and very nice. There's even NTUC fairprice there. We bought Popeye (remember? the very old cartoon, Popeye the sailor man!) and eat at some deserted corner.

We walked around T3 before taking the Skytrain to T1. Then we slowly chat and walk towards the bus stops at the bottom level of the airport. Someone saw the their bus approaching from a distant and dash across the road. I continue walking slowly and watch as they board the bus hurriedly. No goodbye... and I was the only left there. Obviously no one remember me and I found myself back to reality.

I leaned at the pillar, watching the buses went by me one by one. Recalling all the past memories, both happy and sad when I was in secondary school. I was emotional and wish to talk to someone, i figure no one would care. I had a friend that we recently became very close, but I just felt that I was interferring with her life too much... I'm treating her as my best friend but not expecting her to have the same feeling... she still has her good friends too... but I don't.

I've a lot friends too, but there is not much whom I can trust, whom would listen to my rant, and would trust me enough to share their feelings. I have such friends when I was in secondary school... but in IMD...

There was a lot of backstabbing and competition in IMD. People would just come and peek o'er at your work and mentally compare your work with theirs. If theirs is much better, they would smile and go away but if yours is better than theirs, they will say, "wao lao... so good, spoil market arh!?" and will quickly get back to do more work and try to beat you the next time round.

Its like, I don't care okay... so what if yours is better than mine? and pleassseee... if you want to compare, at least don't be so obvious can? You know what I mean? Those look a few second, a moment of silent and go without giving any comment. Haha... your body language betray you.

Yes, I also go around watching others but for me, its either I am tired and need to walk around and see how others are doing or I am feeling good that day and want to help others and advice them what to do. Seriously, would you want to compare with weaker people like ******? I look at theirs and really tell them how they can improve (if I can) or give them more motivation by saying the good points of their design.

I just want to point out that competition is normal but when you go into extreme and would do whatever to beat them, scheme, bad-mouth, or even befriend someone due competition,
it unhealthy.

I just badly need a best friend...

2008-02-23T03:23:00.000+08:00

Just change my blogskin to one with my face. Haha. The comDA is finally over.
Anyway, going to sleep now. Blog more next time

2008-02-22T04:00:00.000+08:00

For everyone that worries and do not know what's going on with my last post. Haha... Its due to some stress I being through this few weeks. Having comDA (a module based on english) and P3 (a very heavy module) and having friends backstab whenever you are not looking and when you are the most vulnerable and you needed help the most. I've seen the best in people and now you let me see the worst in them.

What do you want from me huh? Haha... well, you see, I dun really care. Life will still go on. But just be careful not to cross the line, I'm not always Mr. Good-guy =D

And btw, I'm typing this post when I should be doing my comDA final thesis proposal. Its 4 am in the morning and I am like, haven even started on it... (hope I make some of you happy). But dun worry, I will complete it in time. This is not another one of those emo, emo type of post so there isn't any reason for you not to continue reading. Here goes...

This few weeks I'm really leading a very healthy life and run at least 3 times every week. Not only is that my new year resolution, but it fit the theme I'm doing for my P3. If I wasn't fit and healthy myself, how could I convince and sell my website to the client. Lol... (of course that's not entirely true lar, just psyco myself to that so I will exercise regularlly.)

Another thing is that I'm glad there still friends out there who still care for me, and is worth caring for (friendship is a 2-way thing isn't it?). One of them is Yiling, a girl so kind, with a heart of gold and so ignorant of this cruel world we live in. Luckily she's not in IMD or she will...
not be able to take the constant "power-struggle" (lol) and backstabbing among people in IMD. Don't worry about me guys, I wear anti-backstabbing vest =D Well... I just want to say, since we left secondary school and kiss our school books goodbye I haven't being able to find another friends that is willing to listen to all the rant I have in school, willingly share all their feeling and emotions. Remember the the good friend, good buddy type. Yea... I tried to find one in IMD, but... (okay I will not say anything)

Anyway, for those "bad guys" in IMD, dun look around, you know who you are, your scheme do not work on me and well it merely make me stronger. I just want to say beware, I just haven go all out yet. Still staying in my comfort zone and slacking, who knows what I may unleashed when I get serious... haha... "unleashed"? I think I will not elaborate on that and enable you to make a lame joke out of it. Lol...

Yeap, I think I should get back to work now. Its 4:20. Woo... I wasted 20 min on writing this post?! comDA final proposal, here I come ~!

2008-02-16T01:47:00.000+08:00

No way. I can't do this... That's my only...

...

...

well... I dun care alright...
yes.

The final push... i think = /

2007-09-07T10:45:00.001+08:00

The days of the submission is nearing... people are beginning to panic... and I have lesser time to write this kinda blog post... think I better start work, bye. Eh... jk
-
I've being working non-stop for the past few days... Huh... not doing work? I was here since 8am and do work till 3pm. That's 7 hours straight... And from 10pm to 3am, that's about 12 hours a day. I do need rest = /
-
Well... maybe I act like I'm too slack already... but my principle is that if its time to work, I put all my heart in it. When its time to enjoy... don't ever think of work.
-
Maybe people see that I finish too little already. But what they never see is the thought I put behind every design, every elements in the page. That's the way a designer work, don't they? You don't just put things there because it look good right. The template is revised a lot time to suit the possible problem it might face. Placement and consistency is being planned out. Design don't just happen. Design is planned.
-
You need to justified for everything you design. Maybe your justification is right and works, maybe its wrong, it depend on your skills and experiences. But as someone who is just starting up and has little experience, you will need a lot of help and you must dare to take risk.
-
Well... that's better get back to my thinking... Cya.

2007-09-03T23:13:00.000+08:00

Am I just being too self-centred? I thought this a while after writing the previous post.
-
I recalled reading a book that teaches how to be a highly effective teens. Before setting off to school, I manage to grab the book and read it during the bus journey.
-
I remembered about the "personal bank account", before one ever win in the public arenas of life, one has to first win private battles within themselves. E.g of PBA (personal bank account) deposits is keeping promise to yourself, do small act of kindness, likewise, a PBA withdrawal is breaking personal promises and keep to yourself, being dishonest.
-
And as I look through the section whereby they explain what is meant by poor and healthy PBA, I wasn't shocked to find myself having a poor PBA.
-
Some of the symptoms of having poor PBA is
- You cave in to peer pressure easily.
- You wrestle with feelings of depression and inferiority.
- You're overly concerned about what other think of you.
- You act arrogant to help hide your insecurities.
- You self-destruct by getting heavily on drugs, pornography, vandalism, or gangs.
- You get jealous easily, especially when someone close to you succeeds.
-
Wow, I find that I'm having most of the symptoms now, Oh... except for that drug, porn symptoms of course... lol.
-
Then as I continue skimming through the book. Another section grab me. Its that 'seek first to understand then to be understood'. I tried that today, and even though not everything is according to plan, our group is at least better off than previous meeting = /

Too late?

2007-09-02T19:03:00.000+08:00

I finally decided to take a stand. It has being a long time since I tell people to do things.
-
I used to be vice president of the student council and giving instruction and making decision quick is all part of the job. Ever since I came to poly, I decide to stay away from all this political stuff and try to remain low profile...
-
But there isn't a choice now. In group work, I allow others to take charge and hope that everything will turn out well. I wanted to try to support whoever giving the order. But sometime, they might make wrong decision and focus on wrong things. I do not mean to be rude or give attitude, I just try remind them again and again.
-
However, some people will just never get it. I was thought to be uncooperative and oh man, they will never look nice on my peer assignment. But heck that, I had to turn things around. We had only 9? 8 days? left. My design skills might not be the best but I know how to make things happen. I had ideas that will surpass other group, its hard to implement things if the group, needs a few days to approve an idea = /
-
Time management now is crucial. We can't afford to lose any more time... that's why I decided to tell them what to do. If everything goes well and everyone is cooperative, I am sure we still can be the best DEFA group that present. Don't forget... you got the best person for the job. When did I fail to amaze? Lol....

Finally, some progression?

2007-08-25T09:20:00.000+08:00

In the end, I was right after all.
-
I was still asking some of the question like what's that for and stuff... I manage to convince them to change a little here and there. I dare not comment too much on the layout though.
-
When Yong came, he commented that our layout look busy... and that the content is... not right. Just what I have being trying to say all the time... we need intro to strengthen our objective.
-
Wrong focus... i think we should do some other things beside layout. Seriously, we still have alot stuff that is equally as important and now we are like what? Coin spinning in a bucket?
-
lol...

Choosing the lesser of the 2 EVIL

2007-08-24T12:02:00.000+08:00

In school now... as usual, arrived at 9am. Play a games or 2 to get my brain working.
-
So what now? Should I do some development work? Or layout design? They won't be happy if I come out with a new layout by myself = / and what about my concern? Surely they won't do anything about it. How do i bring it out?
-
Here are some of my concerns...
-
" Featured video? Contest as a USP? Initially it is a sound idea but after a series of interim and consultation. It can still be improve and there's a need to. I came out with a solution that suit their 'Ask ahgong, cucu' idea, which is to shift perspective to education site. But still keeping contest, video stuff? Isn't it abit overboard... I thought we agree to put contest into the 'events' section and tone it down. Its just ONE of the events in the website. Just like, 'hey gorgeous' is part of the channel u website and its an event. It don't take over channel u website's USP."
-
"Homepage's content? Still having so much stuff, featured blog, featured video... Let's just see what happen next..."
-
Thinking about consulting a lecturer by myself and tell them my concern, they will see the point, with their approval, will it be easier to convince my grp member?
-
Or should I not touch the rendering of the layout all together? And concentrate on something else. They are still things to do. Like contents, presentation, development and packaging. Initially I wanted them to do these stuff while I crack my brain on the layout. We have so much things on our hand, can't they see that there's a point to split the workload... There are still other things to do beside layout and there are equally important. Things that I cannot do it so well.
-
I do not know how I should be dealing with the problem without offending anyone. I do not know what to do next, layout? they will say I am doing individual work. Doing something else, I will not execute the task so well and the layout will be shot again on the next interim.

Stress

2007-08-23T17:30:00.000+08:00

I will try to follow my group's direction. Just a while ago, Jeff told us that 2nd interim will need to have a full working html. Content can still be dummy text.
-
I should have came the last 2 days... but even if I does, what changes will it make? I'm someone who do not know who to critique others work. My mentality is to critique my own mistake and look at others good points. I felt that my personality is kinda like Jeffrey. I don't point out the fault of others. Just make very minor reminder, but in the group, they won't take them into consideration. Oh well, maybe its my own fault, I don't know how to voice out my concern.
-
I have a very strong feeling we will be shot again... but no one listen. I want my group to get As but their art direction isn't on the right track.Publish Post
-
Haiz... the only way here is to follow what my group is doing... \/= -_-)/
Hmmm...

Anti-climax

2007-08-23T11:11:00.000+08:00

I haven't being blogging nowadays since there isn't really a need to, and I feel that shouting out my rant dun make me feel better, it make me feel worst. It's best just not to think about it.
-
But the stress now is pretty unbearable so I wish to share the load to those reading it.
-
It all begins with PComD... I've prepared very well for the presentation. This is another one of those module I can excel without much effort. PComD's all about the final presentation. You do it well, you pass with flying colours, you screwed it... you get average grade.
-
I prepared adequately for 2 slides that I have presented, all the lines, all the humour, all the expression, all the emotion I want the client to feel when listening to me when I sell it to them. Long story short, I screwed it up. There was a little miscommunication within the group and my slides is taken by someone else. I freaked out on the spot and I can't even speak fluently, my mind goes blank...
-
This is one presentation that went really bad. The stress of not being able to maintain my standard and get Director's List build up. I calm myself slightly and told myself, there's still P2 interim presentation later, I must remain my cool.
-
When its our turn to present, I begin pretty well. Incorporating humours within my lines without being rude or sacrastic(lol). I was constantly looking at the lecturers expression and make sure I never went over limit.
-
But our design is just plain suck, I know that and then the bombardment of question and comments. I can understand that. I dun mind all these negative comments but what I really concern is my integrity. When someone says that 'we copy' once or twice, its like a joke, but when it goes overboard, it just not funny anymore and I got offended.
-
I returned home, even when I am feeling very bad, I'm still able to cover myself and appear cheerful and as if nothing happen. The next day, I'm feeling better and I convert this negative feeling to positive. I became really fired up and enthu again. I know what we are supposed to do. Since we are really lagging behind, I told my group to commerce and continue the other sections of the website, I will concentrate on the layout.
-
She called and said that everyone is very down. And as if I ditched the group... Now its my fault!? You guys could have continued while I solved the most difficult part, I'm lightening everyone load... She questioned me and it led to those negative feelings comming back. She wants me to stop whatever I was doing which was like wth!?
-
Oh man... it caused me to lose all the enthuasium once again...

2007-03-18T20:21:00.000+08:00

I dun feel belong...
-
Last year, at the countdown to year 2007, I went over to the church for countdown and to taunt the night. This is the very few activities I had attended with the cell groups in church. After the countdown (man, we actually missed it. Lol...) there was a slideshow on everything the cell groups did together for the whole year. Beside the MM camp, I wasn't in there at all. I just feel so bad, I can't be able to take part in much of the activities...
-
I was depriving myself from alot of school activities... back then when there was TP open house and this time round, Freshman Orientation, I never took part in any as I have to avoid her... I once have tis good friend, we once do everything together, watch movie, go home, lunch, chat... but... I made a mistake and now she avoided me like the plague. I want to say sorry but its too late. She say we were cool but things were not the same anymore... we are not as good as we used to be. To help her nt get into uneasy situation, I backed out. I lied about the fact that I stop enjoying camp. She was in TP open house, I refused to join even when I can't bear to miss out on all the fun. She will be in this upcomming FOC, I lied that I lost in interest in camp. She was always in lvl 5, I will be in lvl 6 com lab all the while 'working' on my own things... Only recently I had to stay at lvl 5 for grp work.
-
I never felt belong... all this while, I being acting up crazy and sociable. Its just to mask my sorrowness... Lol... only recently when i started the first 20 episode of Naruto I realise that this condition is not uncommon.
-
My emotion today... Happy...
..
..
.
.
..
..
NOT = /

2007-02-16T23:25:00.001+08:00

~*~I had this ‘Friend’~*~
~*~I thought it will Last~*~
~*~Then I did something really dumb~*~
~*~That I wish I’d never done~*~
~*~She got REALLY mad~*~
~*~And of course I got so sad~*~
~*~For now until forever~*~
~*~Even though you hate me~*~
~*~I just want you to see~*~
~*~I AM VERY SORRY~*~
~*~I hope you can forgive me~*~

2007-02-16T20:55:00.000+08:00

Here's a special new year post. Gong Xi Fai Chai to everyone reading this edition.
-
It seem that I missed my birthday edition post, bt wat e heck... New year is nearing, just a gentle reminder to all to repay whatever money or things u owe ppl. Dun owe till nxt yr huh...
-
I was walking thru the mrt station when I saw this friend of mine, Joshua(note: nt tp 1). It seem like he forgotten me bt nevertheless, seeing him around made me think of the JC times...
-
It was just last year... around this time when I'm still attending JC, 3 mth "trial". Joshua is academically excellent and he was also the enthu one in learning in the class... But what happen nxt after JC? He will go to a University. What happen next? He will get a degree. Then what? He will find a finacially secured job. What next? Work, work and more work. Higher and higher pay. Pay upfront for more things. Get more debts... Need to continue working hard to pay off debt.
-
Man this life suckz... luckily i was showed the other path
-
...
-
Sometime I wondered what is true Love? Is it very rational? oR Is it irrational? For the couple of times I was in one, I was irrational and sometime allow my emotion to take over. I was making mistakes... I knew I shldn't have done and regret later. It seem to everything had settle down for a while... I rethink about my past action. I was really foolish and man, those wasn't really any true love.
-
However, these days I had a new feeling towards someone else... and I kinda felt that since i like her, I shldn't interfere with her life and respect her. Since I'm nt able to give her Happiness, I rather have patient and work hard to let her have a good life in the future. Never had I sacrifice myself to give someone haapiness... in the past I was self fish, I'm self-centred. I want to be happy myself bt nvr did i care about their feelings...
-
She appear in my dreams a couple of a time. I just looked deeply into her eyes, that is all i ever wanted... nothing more. And she never fail to make me smile...

2007-02-05T01:41:00.000+08:00

Man... I am weird. Sometime I dun even know what am I doing. No one can understand me... like wise, I dun even understand myself. When someone were to say, I understand. What Bullshit!
-
I love reading. I love learning. I love knowledge... however, have I know too much? Just like psychology and body language. I'm now so aware of these stuff that it became habit. I've a habit of applying what I learn. Shouldn't that be good? Maybe... But can you imagine being aware of even simple reflex action. I control each movement, each emotion, each expression to fit the situation. So as not to do something awkward. I analyse each situation and do only the right thing... and masked my emotion.
-
Man, does that sound confusing? Yep, damn right. And I was confused too... up till a point I do not know what I am doing, what I am really feeling at that moment
-
The 1 emotion that i cannot masked and make me do really stupid things is Love. Yea...
-
Next, psychology is something that after I learned, it just came back naturally. As in the rules are there in my mind... I see the situation, and apply the rule. Practical scenario. Logical solution. Like the example I always quote, to make me do something, I put myself in a situation where I do it, or die...
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That end my post. Gotta sleep now. Leave a msg in the shoutbox.

2007-01-18T02:20:00.000+08:00

Finally there’s a break in between assignments. I think I will take this time to do some blogging. Since the New Year 2007, I haven’t being writing any special New Year edition blog. I will take this time to write a about some important events and New Year resolution for year 2007.
-
At the beginning of the year, there’s nothing happening really except waiting for our ‘O’ level result. I always thought I’m going to a JC and that’s my destiny lies there. I went for my first 3 month of JC in a school near me. It was Serangoon Junior College. I was assigned in Athens Zeta for freshman orientation. We are following the Greek mythology theme. We were really enthu during the orientation. There was this person who was so overly enthu that… man…~! It’s frightening.
-
We have to turn out for several subject intros. Then we have to choose our temporary subject combination and I got GP, Chinese, Math, Physics, Chemistry and Economics.
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There was one time we were brief that we were able to join Chingay Parade as motivator. The whole Athens Zeta agreed to join together.
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Next we were finally assigned to the temporary subjects’ classes… Just the typical me, I was the one who went around and make friends. This is where I met and know my jie jie.
-
Fast forward abit… JC was so boring… : /
-
Yea… and there was this ‘o’ level result day. Fortunately and unfortunately, it was also my birthday. When I received my result slip, I was stun for a while. Then, when I returned to my place, my friend was curious how much I got. I had this emotionless look on my face and told them I got a D7 for my English. All of them thought I was joking… and I remained quiet and sat at a corner. A failure in English implies that I cannot stay in the JC.
-
Since I am not staying in a JC, there will be this really long holiday before my poly. So, I decided to join the second orientation as OGL. Yes… almost the whole Athens Zeta was in again. We still remain in our old house, Athens and I was in charge of Athens Zeta…
-
In actual fact, I was not allow to join the 2nd orientation if I did not stay in the JC. I was caught half-way through the freshman orientation but in the end nth happen to me because if I was away, Athens Zeta would have no one to care.
-
Okay Poly poly… IMD is my first choice and as expected I got in. Well, there’s this FOC (freshman orientation camp) and I join :D enjoy myself quite a bit there… And there’s this design orientation camp. There I met someone who is really special and unique… and just from talking to her, I felt that she will do very well in design school aside her good academic result back there in secondary school. Anyone guess it yet? She is now rather famous as the ‘A’ student, Esther.
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She is really good in her stuff and man even during the time we haven’t had any lesson yet, I really want to befriend her as knowing a good students, and you will also get motivated. Just don’t be in the same class as her… you will get too stressed out : /
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She is the kind of student who is really humble, already know her stuff well and fully prepared for the course… and no wonder… I think she aim to go to one of this art institute some day. However, she is the direct opposite of me. I know it’s no good to be… the opposite of humble (boastful? Lol). But in this time… it’s more on psychological… I must admit, I do not have the skills, the experience and basic knowledge (foundation) about design. Yet it’s the “work-really-hard-and-act-as-if-its-nothing-to-me” attitude that pushes me and makes me get better so fast. When I do that, others will look up to me. There and then I have the pressure building on me that people would expect great work from me every single time. I created a scenario whereby I can only produce good work. So, I read vigorously on everything I can lay my hand and to expand my knowledge. Even when I was sooo... stressed out… a Wow from my friends or praise from the lecturer made my effort paid off.
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However, it doesn’t seem to be a good start this time round. I was getting this Ronald for our Ideation2 lecturer and one thing I hate… saying only bad things about my work… I mean, I have pride and if you say, “O… this is good, that is good, o… this part maybe nt tt good…” I will take advice and try to improve it. However, u r… (like Ronald) saying this one nt good, tt one not good and no positive comment I will not be happy.
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Well btw… seeing all the impressive work by my colleagues, I think I will nt withhold my potential and go full out on my design… dun say I’m spoiling the market, it’s not me nw for spoiling the market… I merely wanted to keep up with the class progression.
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With that being said… next time you saw me, I’m the potential unlocked, Samuel \/= ^_^)/

2007-01-16T00:26:00.000+08:00

I really had a bad day. Today I've fail to overcome myself...

I woke up at the wrong side of the bed... and its the start of a really bad day.
In the morning, was my dad. He scolded me for something really ridicuolus...

My sister bully my grandma and I was ultterly furious...

I was already in a bad mood when I found out my partner who is also a good friend of mine cheated me. It isn't the loss of money that saddened me, its the lost of a good and trusted friend...

At the taewkondo lesson. I was further humilated and was scold due to my unattentiveness... Man~! How could I concentrate then?

I had to leave my depressed feeling aside and hold the meeting for typo grp presentation.
I had to both hold the grp together... and inform stella who cannot be added to the chat abt the goin on and update her on the discussion. To keep the the grp lively, i participate actively in the grp convo which I dun normally do.

People joke... and I really fell nth abt it... bt I was really nt in the mood to be agitated. It is responsibiltiy that makes me stay on the chat... bt there was once i was like.. hmm.. okiiee... and in came my mum... she started scolding me on my dad case in the morning and I just can't take it anymore... I just switch off the power of my com and dash to the bed...

Its the last straw...

I went back to my com soon after a while... thinking I still have idea 2. I nvr logged back on. I failed as a leader, I abandon my post that was supposed to be responsible for the grp. And a friend, I just felt i did... ... and i blogged these down....

2006-12-23T22:36:00.000+08:00

Last week, my dad's subordinate needed help in a construction worksite and my dad asked me if I want to work. He's offering $30 for half a day. Even though I taken the job, I refused to get paid.
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Being an internet marketer for some time now, money is no longer an issue to me. I've learned that I need to make money work for me and not the other way round... This is a test to see if I am willing to work even if I wasn't paid.

2006-11-26T23:46:00.000+08:00

I shouldn't have change. Back to the good old me ; D

A penny for all my thoughts and I will be rich...

2006-10-27T20:13:00.000+08:00

Holiday started just yesterday till next year... So much time yet so many more things to do. Having headache recently due to information overload. Samuel, cool it \/= ~_~)/
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Let's recap some things that happen +some random thoughts.
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I can still remember the time when I was have everything. Confident, happiness and friends(so radom). However, those were also the time I go thru the lowest of my life. I never wish to experience them again. Ever since poly life. The happy-go-lucky, Sam, ceased to exisit.
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Lonliness came back knocking at my door. It being a long time since I met him. He never failed to keep me company at the lowest of my life and became my very good friend.
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Not so long ago, he left me again and told me that he wishes all the best to me and hope that he never need to keep me company again.
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One step closer to fiancial freedom, One step closer to becoming a good designer another steps towards God. What more can I wish for? God has never forget me even when I'm one of His weakest child. I failed Him time and again but he never failed me.
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Applied graphic design, Digital Photography is finally over. I'm proud of my work and gave myself a pat on the shoulder for a job well done(must be crazy arh).
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The theme I chose for my Digital Photography is Suicide. I felt that I shld choose something I'm familiar with. Lol... not just because I had experience depression and have the thought of suicide too, I had talk and help friends who wanted to commit suicide. Come to think of it, I've lend my hand to others but who ever helped me when I am in my lowest...
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This post is getting depressing... Lol... So here you go, my robot for Applied Graphic Design. If you really want to see my video on suicide, contact me and I will host it online : D Its a bird! Its a plane! no.. its just a piece of metal junk flying thru the air.
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Well... I'm off to writing on my pilot log. Cya... : D

2006-09-30T11:29:00.000+08:00

Hehe... school is reopening... another great sem ahead. We are informed that one of the topic we are attending includes Photoshop. That's why I muz chiong and learn it. Haha.. Like a bit kiasu...
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Anyway, to know the progress of my work, pls check out My Pilot's Log. It can be found on one of the link or you can go directly from here. Do read the post dated 30/09/2006. Would you like to know why the different between The Industrial and Information Age? Why hard-working people become poorer and deeper in debts? Got there now and read all about it.
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These days, like nothing much to blog about(except that I change my spec and trying to keep long hair, lol...). I was at home all the time, setting the system and playing games... nothing much really. O.. ya, here's a logo from my eBay store : DCool huh... well that's abt it. Cya next time...

Samuel

2006-09-24T21:51:00.000+08:00

Hi

I haven being blogging for a long long time. I never thought of blogging if not for my friend reminder. Blog, blog... what should I blog about? Hmm... well, this few days I'm really busy.
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I've being manually selling some stuff over the net and I made about $150 USD. Not really much considering the amount of money I have already thrown in. Another thing to note. I have just registered for 2 domain for 2 yrs and gotten a unlimited hosting plan just yesterday.
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The 2 domain is 5amuel-chan.com and 5amuel-biz.com. Note, the S of the samuel is not the letter 'S', its actually the number 5. One reason, is the domain name is already taken. Another thing is that I was thinking of adding a 3 on top of the 5 and cent on the bottom on the logo I will be making. Vertically, it will show 35 cent.
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The day before, I opened an eBay store. You can visit it here.
http://stores.ebay.com/Samuels-Ebooks-Store_W0QQsspagenameZMEQ3aFQ3aSTQQtZkm
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I don't I should go into too technical term here. If you want to read more, I have post in my other blog, "My pilot log".
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that's all for today. Cya.

2006-07-25T23:56:00.000+08:00

I sat on the bus stop. Hey here come my bus no. 58.... I wasn't sure what I was thinking, but i never stood up and let the bus jus pass me...
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Today is my worst day, i tell you. After missing tt bus, when i board another to go TP, I actually o'ershot. Don't know wat was goin in my head. After taekwondo, I even missed 3 buses.... first is 22, then 58, then 22 again. Then i finally boarded 58. I can actually made so much mistake in a day... \/= ~_~)/
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The day start with something unpleasant. When I went to my hamsters' cage. Head count~! I found that 2 more babies died... Left with 1 or 2... Sad man... Normally, such things would affect a person, (who like his hamster as much as i do) whole day. Not me, I picked myself together and continue my research. I think i have stressed myself too much. That day, I made a few important decision that would reallie get me into trouble if i don't achieve them. I may even get sued. More stressed.
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And for the whole day, I believe that I have not spoken to anyone. The only thing i ever say is hi and bye. Really need help. Don't get me wrong, I don't need anyone to care or bother anymore. The dreams and goals I have have already far exceeded anyone I knew. No one will ever understand me now. I set a expectation so high that people dun even dare to dream of. I'm stressed, I reallie stressed. I need not anyone to help by the way, I just need support. To achieve these goals, I already gave up everything I treasured most, my social life, my friends... the only way I can earn myself back some... whatever, is to get successful, achieve my dreams. Or else I lose everything.
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Can you believe it? Right after 2D ended, I've being studying all modes of online business, PPC advertising, traffic generation, affilliant sale. I already acquire knowledges that people are willing to spent hundreds just to know within these few days... I already put myself in the situation where I must succeed or else i die. Promised companies to produce products. And... did i mention... i tot Culture and Expression is just lectures? Damn~!!! I junior year senior(yr2 for short) told me that C and E is just lectures, no hw... and so i tot tt yeaH... i gt a few mth to start up my online business and so start taking orders... who know and the lecturers actually give hw... shit.... I'm not sure I have the time to tend both my studies and business at e same time...
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Well.... cannot blame him entirely. Bet he nvr do his homework.... : )

2006-07-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

O man... why i half way thru e module sick sia... nw it's like I everyday... no energy and mood to stay up late to complete my assignment... Still gt couple of assignments pending... plus come up with the final work's concept....
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I went to my nui er's school choir and band concert at victoria concert hall today and i happen to see my sec school music/A math teachie..., Ms Yammi... Lol... well... tt's abt all... o.. and ya... the concert quite ok... i gt nt much to comment.
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Hee... did i mention in my blog tt i am a super stressed student? I think i have... hey... so stressed till sick lo... can't take it liao... I like to analysis thing. So i frequently do self reflection and everytime i find something interesting abt myself... haha.. kool huh~!What i've found out iz tt i am so much so much more stressed up than... no wait... i think the most stressed up student in Tp sia...(wait till i go yr 2 n 3) Luckily and surprisingly i can still manage it. I am a student who aims high and want to get my As... so in order to do tiz... what i do... like i dunnoe paintin... i go buy books learn... buy books to learn to draw... redo my assignment till i get my A in every assignment. Those are my self made crash course studies which I am going for as my short term goal. As for long term goal, I aim to become e top designer and being an entrepreneur. It not juz a dream for me. To me, it is a must. To achieve tt... I bought 100++ on photoshop books and 50++ on entrepreneur guide. I spent any time available to learn new techniques on photoshop and extra time during weekend to read and plan up my business(still very inttial stage lar). For every plan, there must be a time frame, so it iz gonna be be4 yr3... I need to be super ultra pro in photoshop(to aid in me being a good designer) and to have at least setup 2 internet business alr. So by e time i graduate, I will be self substantiate and at most work at somewhere for 1-2 yrs to get e capital i need to further develop my businesses. Of course, if i can get into U even better. Go NTU's Design course and by then if my internet business is up and running alr, I will pay for the tuition fee myself.
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TT's my goal. Kool huh~!... Well actually it's too taxing lar... got taekwondo, no time to do assignements... I've alr fully utilize my time till can't take it liao lar... Sometime, i hope tt there will be someone who will support me whatever i do. Share my hardship, sorrow, pain and joy. A fren tt will always be there for me...

2006-07-05T22:08:00.000+08:00

This is so frustrating. This is e first time i painted in acrylic, on an A3 size paper n it look like Wt*!!! It so nt nice. Personally, I felt tt it is the worst work I have produce so far in TP. Felt so... I hate it... I hate myself still nt being able master painting. In order to do well for this module, who knew hw much research i have, hw much money i have spent on books on painting(it's like, 80-90 plus lo)? I started frm nothing... absolutely lousy painting skills, i tot i put in lots of work, in e end, it's still trash! : ( Still remember the first few assignment, on of which is colour wheel, i alr did my best painting it, redid 2 times, but in e end still very ugly. Too diluted paint and unconfident brushstrokes... are some of my prob when I juz started out...
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To me, when i say i put in 70%, 80%... It is not actually what it sounds like, it's nt like i still have some remaining talent i nvr use. To me, 100% simply means I'm totally happy with my work. It seem tt when i was young I can reach 100% easily as my taste wasn't tt mature(izzit e rite word 2 use?) As we grow up, our taste for art apreciation gt higher and I'm slowly feeling tt i can't keep up with tt pace and quality of work remaining constant, I felt it had seemingly decrease dramastically. Die lar how. Reaching higher percentage wasn't reallie tt hard. I noe i can improve e quality of the work by a few way. Self-Motivation(which i think i did pretty well), Perservance, Patient, learning techniques(tt's wat my art book r for) and most importantly, my Skill.
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Haiz... to cut things short, what I am trying to say is... HeLp Me... I can't take it anymore... AARRGGG... super stressed ahhH keafheiwhfih y.c.WDHGnjkh,,j

2006-07-05T00:02:00.000+08:00

No... How can he possibly do tt~!!
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My 2D lecturer, mr Hock deduct 10% frm each assignment juz because i drew my logo in front of my artwork. It's kinda an intial, I put it in all my artworks... 10% leh... And thus all my assignment get B~! Only thing is tt e colour wheel i admit is nt reallie tt good, so a C.
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I'm so totally stressed up lo... i will be like need to pick up a new skill juz meet e requirement... It's like for DrawEss, we need to draw it very accurately and it's okay to have many lines just to make it damn accurate, but for e.g 2D ArFun, the line need to be firm and solid. Everytime, ppl see my works, they like wow.. wow... but do u think i'm reallie tt pro. To be honest with all of u, I'm nt. When sometime i sorta like say hw good i am... It is actually a method i use to boost my confident and power up my motivation. This technique is reallie true and scientific. I read it frm one of the self help book i read recently. When u place yrself in such a position whereby u must do it and with others pressuring n expect good works frm u. U will get all e motivation u needed. Like most of u guys here... I'm juz a normal teen with no special artisitc talent(hmmm... does tt sound familiar? Jamie? lol) but when i produce a work tt is for e.g 2 time better than some other work, the fact is tt i put in 3 times maybe even 4-5 times more effort. The reason i wrote tis to tell my fellow classmate tt if i can do it... y can't u?
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haha... some motivational blog. Btw, they r all true. Yep... even e 4-5 time more effort. U guys remember melanie's fabric? It's like so nice also. N i heaRD tt she spent abt 10 hrs doin it(or izzit 20?). Wait till u hear hw long i spent. I'm juz a normal human being, basic skills in painting i like spent abt 33 hrs... so based on time spent, maybe melanie is even better than me. All this acquiring new skills in such a short time is like so exhausting... and i was like so gonna ... watever. It like it's so taxing to my body and i was mentally telling my body cannot sick cannot sick. And with all these emotions going around me. I dunnoe if whether i can take it. After tt test, i'm starting to go back to my old self. Friendly? Yep... it being hard these dazes to act like super anti-social. It's nt actually a lie, but i used to be liddat and i can actually want myself to be tt anti-social. When i do, I'm sorta... reallie anti-social. haha. The details of hw the test is like u all go n figure it. Dun think too hard, it's logical n like my friend once say, mature. hahah...
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And pls, Daniel, dun call me an enthu kia lar... It juz tt i enjoy wat i'm doin n plus pressure frm everyone else tt make me like... so enthu. hehe... Well... Didn't i also try to blend in. The unenthu. As for block teaching system, i understand hw u feel coz i fell e same pressure too... wantin us to master tt module within a short period of time. Hating such a bad system is okay, but nt to e extend of expressing it in watever u do. Sometime blamming e system when u screwed up yr work. U r giving yrself excuses... N oftenly it is more important to know y u screwed tt assignment so tt u can improve. What i blog in e first few paragraph had show u how block teaching make me suffer, but let's all face it. This system is goin to stay if whether u like it or nt, so y not juz learn to accept it and try to fit in. yah...
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Almost forgot, as for body nt goin to take it... Mr Hock... say tt there's room for me to improve n pointed out on hw i can do tt, i was like telling him i gt no time and he say he dun believe it. I had alr maximize, pioritize, my time alr and . Omg... I like every week gt 2 days of taekwondo trainin so i have to stay in school till 10 and i had no play time, rest time is only when i sleep. I super tired lo... remember hw i get this quality of work? I put in xtra effort lo. How can u say i'm nt using my time properly. Do u wan me to even sacrifice my sleep time? Better nt if u mind having a zombie in class everyday.
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well... it's 1:10 am alr n i haven even started on my assignment on Dreamscape. Tata,,, cya nxt time. and be4 i go, I will juz leave u guys with a few photos...

2006-06-27T00:16:00.000+08:00

U guys notice anything diff of my desk? If u guess the addition of a painting, u're rite~! : )Did i mention that i wanted to paint Renaissance masterpieces? yep.. here it is. My first try at it. I'm painting the famous painting of Pieter Bruegel the Elder, The Harvesters. Maybe I will attempt to paint Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa or the Creation of Adam of Michelangelo next time round.
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It's quite simple actually. With the sketches in place. I prepare my tools and was ready to paint.

First, is to paint the background.

Then the foregound...
The civilians and tree..
Almost done, neeed to do somemore touch up
Ta-da... tis is The Harvesters by Pieter Bruegel, recreated by me : ) ~!
Okie, I will shw u guys the real thing... The reason for my work nt having as much details as the real one is that my canvas is too small.

Hmm... pehape i still gt alot to work on. Mixing and getting the right colour, details... anw... it was alr a good work, considerin the time i have spent doin tis. 4hr 30 min with lotta distration. One of the reason of painting this is that I do need a little warmup practice before 2D ArFun. Hehe... tmr the day~! Wish me good luck and stay tune for more of ME... Fuu...(imitating Hard Gay. Lol)

2006-06-23T22:38:00.000+08:00

Okie guys, this is e end of this block's module. I will upload pic from the Ideation class. Some of the pic i've uploaded might have alr appear here but just bear with me.
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This is the first assignment, the Image Making Exercise.
I won't tok too much on the 4 black squares thingie, it's lame.
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Okie, next we have the 3 collages I've done on the theme mysterious, horror and young.

This is basically a photoshooting assignment. And if u notice closely...All of them converge into one point. Do u know where izzit? Anw, it's in the middle of big photo.
You might alr have seen this character. I think I 've uploaded it into my blog before and as a msn dp. This is one of the 3 views of my monster, Zackie and the following pic is his family photo.

And lastly, my gift wrap. It looked just like a real gift wrap ya. Anw, if such pattern of giftwrap appear in the market, would u buy it? : )
I dun think i wanna post in my DrawE work, it's so boring, it's just lots n lots of still-life drawing and sketches.... u get the picture. Heehee, during the DrawE module, we were told to buy "Charlie"(the wooden doll used for drawing) and i actually bought 2~! One male,Ed, n one female, Eva, and i was wondering if i can get a Ed junior. So.. crappy rite? hahaha.
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Today's DrawE final weightage is 30% of the whole module. OMGosh... And we were given 2 nude statues to draw. Everyone's having a really tough time but I manage to do it. After the lesson, we waited outside e classroom and enter one-by-one. She would then give comments, blah blah blah,,,
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I know I'm nt e best in tt class but who cares, I just want my A. Went in there, so scare she would give negative comments and implying tt i do nt well enough. Beside the final drawing which she comment a little on the curve of the top of the head, the rest of the time, she was telling me I was good, I have the talent, concentrate in class, keen in learning and keep on practising to keep this lvl. I was so happy but just be4 i left, she told me tt, everything was good and i would most probably get a high B. High B~!!?? I walked out of the room calmly and when my fren ask hw was it, then i got so frustrated and told them, who cares about what good comments she say, she say i'm goin get B when my target is A. What a waste of good opportunity. DrawE is one of the few classes i can score in and i screwed up. Where else can i get my A \/=-__-)/?
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However, there's still hope of getting an A this block, it is my Ideation1 class. I worked so hard this few weeks (I must admit i nber reallie bother about DrawingE) that I deserved it. I put in alot more effort than most of my classmates sacrificing sleep and i reallie meant it. I haven slept for 2 nights during the last stretch and pehape this is why I couldn't draw tt good in DrawingE. I'm so deprived of sleep that my vision literally blurred even when i tried to measure the angles. I can say tt in Ideation1, I've give in my 80%. And guys, for the final project, I've compiled my work into a single sketchbook called the Samdeation(That is what u get when u mix Samuel and Ideation together)- a guide for students taking Ideation1 in Temasek Design School. It look kinda like a handbook and beside rationales, art works and journals which most student just put in, here is what extra stuff u would find. Kool cover page, professional looking layout with Teamsek Design school and course name on every page, copyright thingie u would find in a normal book, about the author, acknowledgement, content page, brief of lesson for the whole module, personal views on artworks, how to apply what u learn into the making of the work, process in doing it and even a bonus on secret in producing good work, everytIme. Now, does it sound good or what. I highly recommend ppl who have nt taken Ideation1 to look thru this booklet and and use it as a reference. Hehe... but also must see if Tcher(Francine) will return to us our sketchbook.

2006-06-17T02:25:00.000+08:00

Hmm... 2:30 now. I want quickly type down my thougts and quickly go to my lala land.
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Basically, I'm slowly getting used to this new environment. Assignments, exercises may be alot, bt they are all small fry to me(hehe). At least the assignment in this current module is not as boring like the previous one, namely, ComDI.
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I've finally figure out the massive spending spree I had this few weeks. I used to think that it's emotional but no... rather is a psycological pattern. I 've found out that in the past, there was time when I spent money like water, for a short period of time. I think that it has to do with habit. Short-term habit(hmm.. nice, it's a term i invent myself). You see, I am a person who is used to saving money and is able to resist the temptation of spending. There were many times when
I reallie want something but in the end, "persuade" myself it is nt worth it. Even if the thing i want is only a few dollar, I would consider very long before making the decision. Ok.. here come the pattern of short-term-habit. When I am forced(need) to get something or cannot resist the temptation and bought one, I alr break the not-buying pattern. And during that moment develop a short-term-habit into buying stuff... I would oftenly give e excus tt i alr spent some money, why nt spent some more... and in the end, end out buying alot. Especially in places such as Bras Basah Complex, it is truly considered a paradise to me. Forget to tell u, this week i went there again to get the doll for drawing, which cost only 8+ each(i bought a guy n a female, wonder will i have a kid doll soon. lol), and end up spending $70.
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Dear readers, even though i say that i spent so much, dun be worried too much. Soon after the habit die off, to make out of what is lost, I started saving again. I will never be out of cash. I dun actually spend what I saved so hard. In order to reduce e risk of spending all e money, sometime, when i reach about $300, I will diligently put them into the bank so my limit will be smaller when another spending spree started.
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What more can i say...? Hmm... okiee... Actually, I'm started to enjoy DrawingEss. I really can see mark improvement in my real life drawing and the accuracy of the drawing. Maybe I will post all my artworks done during DrawingEss next time. Most probably at the end of the module. However, I cannot gurantee the quality of the pictures. Since i do nt noe hw to use my scanner, I will most probably take pic of them with my camera phone. Just hope it will appear nice.
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The assignment I am currently working on nw is some texture thingie... like the DrawingEss... I will also try to post all the artworks at the end of the module. Be sure to check them up.
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Congrat if u r able to tahan my rubbish up till here. Gimme some comments in the tagbox, and gimme advice on hw to be able to entertain u guys. Poems? Stories? Events? or more pics? I will try to accomadate to the need of u all(also, to suckled more ppl to tag it\/=~_~)/) hehe... Bye for now... for those reading this entry in the morning, good morning, those reading this entry in the afternoon, good afternoon, those reading this entry in the evening, good evening, those reading this entry in the night, Good night... Sweet dreamz... : ) (man.. tis is damn tirng sia...)

2006-06-11T05:16:00.000+08:00

He stands alone as the wind blows around him
It speaks of the unknown and sends chills to the bone
The trees sway from side to side
as the flowers mourn like someone died
He slowly walks down the street
not knowing exactly what he'll meet
He was all alone and...
thinking that no one cared
He longed for a different place to be
A place where happiness comes so easily
A place where he would rather be
In his mind he'd pretend that he could only hear himself
Until he heard a voice say
that he can't go on living life this way...
His fears and lonliness finally came to an end
The day he realized he had a friend....

2006-06-08T20:33:00.000+08:00

Haven been blogging past few days since I am buzi with my character design assignment. Well... the time now is 8:40 p.m... n the last time i sleep is the day before yesterday. Really is tired nw... bt anw... juz quickly jot down some info i want to record and do 2 sketches den dreamland.
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The day before yesterday, which was 6th of June. Some reallie creepy happen. Everyone in TP shld know i have a veri special matrice no. which is 0606006E yah... what sent chill down my spine was that day, my dad came to fetch me back from school at exactly 6:06p.m and 6 second. Matrice card no.? 6th June? Fetch at exactly 6:06:06? Man... that was creepy.
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In the course of doing the Character Design thingie. I happened to do alotof design, den Li Jia say i spolit market and that she only do 5, why i do 35. And she also say that what's the point doin so much... Maybe in the end she also get that 5% for doing 5 design n my 35 design also earn me 5%. That set me thinking. No doubt I can also do it veri simple and achieve that 5% but the truth is, I want to do it liddat. It's no longer about the marks, the 5%. Rather, it's enjoying what I am doin, having fun while doing it. That matters~!
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Wednesday, which was yesterday, is considered a rush hour for all of us. Even during e lesson den, we had so much question we want to make clear with e lecturer need feedback on how to improve the character but instead, th whole lesson is to asssign us future assignment. After school, each of us had develop a plan on how to complete our paintings, rationaling n journal. Some decide to take a evening nap, some decided to hang their hair to prevent sleeping, some with jug of coffee and some jus dun care. My plan is to quickly complete it, preferably be4 midnight n go rest for the day...
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i was painting the sepia effect on my watercolor paper when I fianlly gave out n decide on redoing. It is den 8 plus, i am only on my first painting n that i redo it. Still got another painting on 3 pt of view, rationaling and journal.
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1 plus i had completed the drawing of both the painting... now on to inking n painting. My eye is closing, vision is blurring. Arrg..~! Went to wash my face couple time that night. even had supper. Not working. I stand up, thinking that i won't fall alsleep. Only to find zhuo gong waving at me and within minute my mind start wondering into dreamland even when i was still on my feet. There was once i was painting n suddenly was suck into dreamland for a second, resulting in me painting a stroke across my artwork~! And pls forgive my grammer, i basically cannot think nw. Jus bear with me for a while more.
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That morning, alot of ppl nvr appear. Most still staying at home doin final touches n rushing to finish their character. I am a good boi, I went for DrawingE lesson. For the whole 3 hrs, my eye is like watering like mad. It is as if i'm crying. Lol...
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Anw... this is my character's design

2006-06-05T00:50:00.000+08:00

Just smile and make my day.
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smiling is infectionous, you catch it like the flu
when someone smiled at me today i started smiling too,
i passed around the corner and someone saw my grin,
i'd realised i'd passed it on to him/her....................,
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i thought about that smile and what it's worth,
a single smile just like mine culd travel around the earth,
so.... if you feel a smile begin, dont leave it undetected,
lets start an epidemis quick.
and get the whole world infected..........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-06-02T00:33:00.000+08:00

The 3D ArFun looked at me when she said, there are some ppl who almost got an A. I went to ask her and found out that i was only short of 2 points to get an A. Damn wasted. Beside, come to think of it, if i done my plaster scupture reflective journal, I would be able to get tt A. This lemme see the importance of every marks and assignments we do.
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Even the Image-Making Exercise of Ideation class take out only 5% of the module marks, i spent the whole night to do it. I have seen the important of every marks and that maybe a few marks will determine a good grade n a average grade. Not to mention those assignment that take out 10-20 % of the module. For example Character Design, which took up 20%. Just now, during e 3 hrs i am waiting for my taekwondo to start, I started doing it, even though the lecture have nt assign it yet. I believe that Ideation, Drawing essential and 2D ArFun is able to earn me an A so i will not let such an oppartunity slip away. Since now i am nt able to get an A for 3D ArFun, i will have to be more careful in future projects and assignments. My goal in TP is that my result should be around 2. So, subject such as ComDI, i am nt doin well... it's okie, i will pull the mean grade up with other modules.

This is a pic of my Image-Making Exercise. This is in the process of shading. I haven reallie completed shading it. And too bad i nber take a photo of it when I'm done with it. Anw, the final piece is basically the same only with a few more shading here and there.
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Even when it look very nice already(according to others), I'm still nt satified with it. Even when i have such a wonderful concept, i blame myself for nt being able to draw well enough. Some shading still dun look like professionals ones. The technique i used to draw is still nt good enough, and tht i still have a lotta to do to improve it.
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My friend's work reallie look good n the style of drawing iz veri mature. That iz why it motivate me to also produce a good work. When i brought it to class, my classmate is like "wow wowo w ow..." I felt like i am spoling the market n ppl were like saying, why make so good one. Then my one how. With them saying that, I juz smile n nod my head and dun dare to say tt i am nt satified with it.
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okiee... end here ya... i'm too tired le lar... Won't bother to post in $0.35 too so dun bother to even go there.

2006-05-31T00:45:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.. suddenly feel like writing another poem and posting it somewhere else. Well... overall, today is a great day. I reallie like drawing. DrawingEssential is so my subject. Beside that, there's also Ideation 1 which some of my friends took. When they explain how the module is like. I can't wait for it to start. : )) One of my friend posted her assignment on Ideation 1 and the quality of the work is so good that I can't wait to attend it and if possible produce an even better one : )
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Well... 1st lesson, the lecturer show us a video by a National Geograhic photograher. I was so happy that i seem to have all the ability discuss in the video like passion, ability to turn problem into opportunity, etc. All except one. Which is to have technique. Even when I put myself in the place of most potential and in that moment that i need to showcase my talent, I can't, since i do nt have the proper technique and is nt ready. Like what he say. Having vision and passion without technique is blind. I totally agree with that. Hehe...
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After 3, I can't go back home since i have taekwondo at 6:30 : ( So i decided to continue with my 100 line words assignment in business canteen. On my way, I saw her. Smile, say hi and went past her. Damn those images flashing thru my mind. Suddenly, the hallway seem so long n my feet feel so heavy as more emotions "surge" into me. Maybe, that would be known as flashback.
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Be4 eating at Business Park. N i took my taekwondo belt to wash and to dry it. It was damn sick. This mornin, i open my cardboard and found my white belt literally turn into green belt. It is due to the fact tt i immediately put it back in with e shirt after washing it. I never dry it and so, the belt turn super mouldy. can u imagine? The sight is enough for u to puke. Then I wash it for like about half an hr... at least better. That is y my dad fetch me to school. I will be late if i went there myself. Ate a plate of chicken chop and started working on my line words...
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Even though today trainin is norm. Dunnoe was it emotional factor or that i just feeling nt well, i find it super tiring and dun feel so good. In training, i always do my best and push myself to e limit(so intrustor, dun push me further le, i am rewallie trying my best). In a the middle of a few set. I almost faint. My head became so heavy and I blank out for 1.5 s liddat. Then wake up again. Do e kipup to get my feet again. However, the feeling of fainting is so cool. I aleasy wanted to faint bt everytime almost hmm... when will i reallie faint? \/= ^__^)/